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Old 05-19-2012, 06:52 PM View Post #1 (Link) Critique-Promise
clove (Offline)
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I wanted to create a thread where critiquers can write down pieces that they want to, or are in the process of critiquing. Primarily, it can be used as a reminder, but it also lets any writers know if their pieces are going to get critiqued in the near future. I thought this place would be most apt, but if anyone disagrees then feel free to move it wherever (equally delete if anyone thinks this thread is pointless).

For me I will really try to get any poems done as soon as, usually within a week of their post-date, in the order as they appear below:
						Last edited by clove; 03-06-2013 at 08:01 PM.
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Old 05-19-2012, 10:48 PM View Post #2 (Link) Last updated 11/22/15
Isis (Offline)
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I happen to keep a sticky note on my desktop for this purpose. Just because poetry is the only thing on this list right now doesn't mean it always will be: if you write short prose that needs attention on the level of imagery, sentence structure, etc. OR essays or other nonfiction, check this list. Or VM me to get your stuff on the list.


my liquor cabinet - Peppermental
Ocean of Avarice - LumpyKoala
ritual - clove
Sometimes in the Summer Heat - mfarr1992
Words are rest - Arty (its short though)
The Meandering Path - Arko
A gray dream - wutheringheights
A bounty hunted - BurningGrace
The fallacy of a perfectionist - mfarr1992
Please tell your mother I don't know what she is saying - nevermindfan1991
Torn veil - intheblueluv
The bird - fake magic
Lost nostalgia - zero
Mother-state - clove
Lost in Sin by victoria
The bird of paradise - fatma fuad
The fevered man - Arko
Man, Oh man - nevermindfan1991
Scholarship essay - nevermindfan1991
I wonder where my companions go - Waterstone
Time - qqeeaa
Dying Men Breathe Pretty Things - Wig
rainman - lalodragon
Stoneless - bookworm
His first funeral - mfarr1992
Home - kellsbelles
Dear Emily Dickinson - mfarr1992
Firefly - nicolettox
Bright Light Boxes - Shaddix
Radicals - Maroon-Back 313
Hunting Negros - nevermindfan1991
Discard - dontcare97
Deep - han123
some wounds scar. - topaz
Curse These Stones - Mimzy
Set Myself on Fire - Jack
Should've stayed - izzyspeaks
Tell me, - LadyTayy
A Nightmare - Arko
a means to an end - v.w.123
Day two hundred and four - AlextotheAndra
Why I'm so angry all the time - mfarr1992
to know a previous life - Joy
Paper - Ares
Of Love Lost - RyleeBlade
The Crow - GoodGracious
Space Hotel - Scotty McGee
Love is death - Dizzy
Beautiful in your madness - topaz
The Sky Was Still Dark When I left - Arko
Renae - lalodragon
All alone - RoseJohnson
Last leaf - Awesomesauce
As it seems - TrueEnigma
Things to do in Milwaukee - mfarr1992
how the world ends - Squint
Stormy weather - morgsleighj
This is not goodbye - sbenzing
Trust me? - han123
Subtle - PieInTheSky
Hurricane Linda - Jack
Billy Collins stole my girlfriend - mfarr1992
something - sbenzing
Let her burn - ReturnToSender
The River - Elia
Lies Were True - fatma fuad
Transparent hope - han123
Pele and the Moth - Fluke
Those Moments - Eloquentquill
Young Sun. - Ares
Blank - han123
White (Oh to be young) - sbenzing
Prose poetry contest entry 1(Squ)
prose poetry contest entry 2 (Are)
prose poetry contest entry 3 (Ark)
prose poetry contest entry 4 (Elia)
Apocryphal Lane - Lykaios
When the only thing between us is silence - Squint
Story Telling - Peppermental
Shades of Grey - Eloquentquill
Truth - sbenzing
Prose poem in threadbox - Ares
acida - asclepia acida
Beautiful - sbenzing
the expatriate - owl
Ceaslessly Drunk - Sauroctonos
beta physics - the heater lady
Was it them that said "I do?" - asclepia acida
Dancing - SaraLaRandom
Medicine pouch - hippo
Graveyard Cracks - Ares
an exchange of intimacies - Squint
12-14-12 - sbenzing
Raindrops and Rainpuddles - The Enchanted Muggle
Mermaid Motel - Derezzination
tropical storm. - Julian

Out your window contest 1 (THL)
out your window contest 2 (lbkwm)
out your window contest 3 (Ares)
5 words contest 1 (lbkwm)
5 words contest 2 (Arko)
Little Branch - Nevermore
The mystery of color - Froth
word vomit: spit or swallow - Squint
Questions - sbenzing
Can't you hear us candles? - addictedtoreading
Struggle for a Cure - DreamCatcher
One becomes Two - Darkshadows1704
fifteen. - Lizzie
Beyond the Wrack North and Winter are Found - Spacepirate
The Duellist - Infinity_Man
Fire - sbenzing
give me an addiction - Squint
Killing my Disney - Squint
Of Birds and Poetry - hippo
Earth will die - addictedtoreading
1109 - asclepia acida
Our Jar Full of Fireflies - Wig
Fog - IceAngel93
Flash - stoneshark
Invisible - alistaire
Heredity - mfarr1992
midnight mendicant - Squint
For her eyes only. - Ares
(I don't know) - Tredyakovsky
Stuff I'm recording out of paranoia - hippo
1000 characters contest 1 - sbenzing
1000 characters contest 2 - bookworm
1000 characters contest 3 - Ares
1000 characters contest 4 - Spacepirate
1000 characters contest 5 - Squint
1000 characters contest 6 - lostbookworm
Fire (revised) - sbenzing
Raindrops and Rainpuddles (revised) - The Enchanted Muggle
The Freshman on the Rise - Scotty McGee
Home - sbenzing
To her eyes - Ares
Transformation contest 1 - the heater lady
Transformation contest 2 - asclepia acida
Transformation contest 3 - sbenzing
Fear - Ichigo
Sickly - han123
Captive - Jazz
Before Christ - Spacepirate
Stained - ean
Bradbury for Sale - Scotty
Acceptance - Dabs
Quiet orders - ean
Zipper - sbenzing
figure drawing - niente
puppetmaster - brittanyj
A sonnet for youth - nmk1128
Poem from painting contest 1 - asclepia acida
Poem from painting contest 2 - bookworm
Poem from painting contest 3 - han123
Poem from painting contest 4 - Squint
Beautiful; without the voices - moonlight
Schizophrenia - Arko
when it is midnight - Squint
The vast ocean that is the mind - Valkyrie
All that could have been - Valkyrie
in the city - niente
Dying with a mouth full of blood - Julian
Our Burden - chasie
Slush - Infinity Man
Motherhood - chairo0990
first poem - lyric lover
Virginal Youth - Derezzenation
Turtle Skins - Hum
most married men - hippo
Brother and Sister - fruitsations
gain - hippo
Renae (revised) - lalodragon
silent seconds - A23N
Water contest 1 - chasie
Water contest 3 - A23N
Water contest 4 - Spacepirate
Water contest 5 - sbenzing
Water contest 6 - bookworm
manafactured children - A23N
Letter smuggled in the 21st century - Spacepirate
I found her - sbenzing
shells - bookworm
To you, she provokes - JessicaJoy
sexploration - Squint
cracking - niente
manafactured children II - A23N
huntsman dreams existential philosophy - the heater lady
Hearing Test - asclepia acida
sonnet - Adelaide
magnet poetry - hippo
Mary Jane - Fantasy
Addicted - izzyspeaks
Bullet Wounds - PencilSword
Spacepirate's NaPo 1-4
Julian's NaPo 3-6
Keladry's NaPo 2-10
bookworm's NaPo 1-14
A23N's NaPo 1-13
Spacepirate's NaPo 5-10
Wig's NaPo 9 - 19
sbenzing's NaPo 1 - 20
Squint's NaPo
Derrezzenation's NaPo 1- 21
mfarr's NaPo 1 - 6
Spacepirate's NaPo 10 - 14
bookworm's NaPo 17 - 24
Shaun's NaPo 6 - 11
lalodragon's NaPo
Sparrow (NaPo) - Lykaois
My Wish - Amorath
restraint - ukeleleblack
Ice Melt - Chocolate Hamburgers
For the love of the game - sbenzing
past the horizon - niente
roots - ean
Why I can't take you home - Peppermental
Needle - han123
Yearning to be free - Ariana Simone
getting it out of the system - A23N
A conversation with myself - mfarr1992
Dharma - Amour
Zipper (revised) - sbenzing
the female body - niente
Birth vs. Death vs. Love - Amour
Graduation - Mclark7838
African poem: right rite under the moon - ogbonna collins
The ears of a wild forest - ogbonna collins
After We Scrapped the Pyre - Peppermental
Leaves left to me - Wig
A joke I heard from my grandfather's circle of friends - Squint
The one true path - songwriter15
Tobacco - Skylord
A glass - Derezzination
256 pages of Milo - Scout Finch
Poetry bootcamp round 1 bookworm
poetry bootcamp round 1 Rose
poetry bootcamp round 1 Tredyakovsky
poetry bootcamp round 1 Wig
poetry bootcamp round 1 lalodragon
poetry bootcamp round 1 Peppermental
poetry bootcamp round 1 Spacepirate
Journey contest 1 - Jack
Journey contest 2 - bookworm
Waterfall - Keladry
demo detachment - bookworm
Correcting a Mistake - HaydnHarry
love: the killer - thepes
Give peace a chance - Noizchild
When meeting her - Wordsofaknown
The Nine Loves - Dabs
Dharma (revised) - Amour
The Long Sky - Spacepirate
M(a)yPoWriMo - Rose
poetry bootcamp round 2 - Tredyakovsky
poetry bootcamp round 2 - Amour
poetry bootcamp round 2 - bookworm

I didn't finish everything on my list from June of 2013 because of Reasons. If you still want a crit on some of that stuff, PM or VM me and I'd be happy to go back, find it, and critique it.

December 2013:

Passing through - Amour
Kayla's Silence - Dabs
Passing through revision - Amour
Title-less (so far) - SimpleSerendipity
unnamed story - jadescity
No title yet - han123
Prayer at Ziz River
Elegy for the Nameless - Amour
cerulean - sleepymick
Sylvia - sleepymick
A child in a dream - psychoecila
For you, blue-eyed blonde - LuisaLane
Fear - Clowningaround123
Execution - Noizchild
A hundred pounds lighter - addictedtoreading
The Empty Promise - Shaddix
karachi on fire - the heater lady

49 - ishmael
Zachary takes long trips without saying much - lalodragon
Why are you so sad Vessel? - Willie
Vindication - sbenzing
Galaxy - Rachel
Cancer - justanotherdreamer
Tristan's tips to eating when money's tight as a student - Julian
woman in the forest - chiaro0990
Petrichor - Tredyakovsky
photography - carnivalknees
Voices - mcdavey
(?) - Tredyakovsky
your color - Squint
The Wood Engrained - Derezzination
The Writer's Looking Glass - Dead Poet Denizen
Alice and I - Clowningaround123
Saccharine - Amour
Miss Nancy and the Bee - Dabs
Funeral Jasmines - Julian
If In Doubt, Exist - Spacepirate
Under the covers of dream - addictedtoreading
case endings - bookworm
God as god - Amour/Raconteur
The Sound of My Own Voice - addictedtoreading
The touch I feel - Shafaq Zooni
My Sanctuary - Rachel
my first poem on this site - tmedha
the Offer - UserWithAName
The Solitude of Yun in His Last Days - Spacepirate
The Confinement (ch. 3? Maybe ch. 4 by the time I get to it?) - Mona Lon
Feb. poetry contest entry - Chrissy Noelle
Feb. poetry contest entry - Pony123
A recreational method of procreaton in Eugenics - Julian
Change - UserWithAName
Sacrifice - Keladry
Memories without bodies - Dabs
Rinse - Raconteur
The Origin of Water - Raconteur
Little Lost Boy - Infinity_Man
Candice's Song - Dabs
Waar - AgniR
We Started a War (But I'm Not Sure if You're Still Fighting it) - Kristal
Fire-starter - gabyisthebest
Fragments - Raconteur
The pessimest on education - AdrenalineJunkie
sbenzing's threadbox stuff
Trees that bleed - lyricalpoet
The Test - Charlie
rats - disgusting creatures! - The Enchanted Muggle
An expression of feminism - Julian
Old News - Clowningaround123
To a rose - Ishearia
Wings and Mantels - addictedtoreading
I love you - Arjab
Of Fevers/Varieties of Glass - Spacepirate
feathers you sent me NaPo comments - Lykaios
apoptosis NaPo general comments - lalodragon
better it live in the terror of its stars NaPo general comments - Avery_Rayne
i was raised to be a liar NaPo general comments - Julian
an attempt NaPo general comments - carnivalknees
I am not a swan, my love NaPo general comments - Raconteur
Plastic Life NaPo general comments - Derrezination
Teach me the art of poetry a few general comments - sbenzing
Aditi and Black - Dalibor
Soon to be - Infinity_Man
A Strange Object - Dabs
Charlottesville, VA - owl
Cygnets - Raconteur
An old man's advice - sbenzing
Tuesday's classes are canceled because of the cold - lalodragon
All Roads - Infinity_Man
Mazzini - AutostradaUnchained
A vision from the Son of Heaven's dreams - christos200
News from lawino's bedroom - ogbonna collins
Marketplace with F. Scott Fitzgerald and Allen Ginsberg - AutostradaUnchained
9th Avenue Mosaic (Freestyle) - AutostradaUnchained
lunar - asclepias acida
Body - peripheralhero
I am woman - Emilyp453
Autumn - almar707
Reality Split - renai
The Strange Weight of Love - gakinniran91
Valentine's Day - gakinniran91
1907 - ishmael
Gypsy - PocketFuzz
Drink me - peripheralhero
A poem from an intriguing perspective - tomlcsince93
Bad Dream - owl
Restart - MonaLon
Pepsi - Derezzination
Maria's Wardrobe - AutostradaUnchained

I didn't finish everything from 2014 again because of Reasons (work sucks bros and broettes), but if you want me to go back to anything, please PM or VM me and I would be happy to do so.


"Writing" - lilyandherviolin
Blue Bruises - WalkingOnWater
Trust me (revised) - han123
Shotgun - lilyandherviolin
The Night I Will Never Forget - Pineappleinshades
How to be in tune with sunlight and spring and green things: - Raconteur
Dead star on a rope - deliria
Jack's 2015 NaPo
Keladry's 2015 NaPo
Lizzie's 2015 NaPo
The Night I Will Never Forget - pineappleinshades
Open Waters - WalkingOnWater
The Road - WalkingOnWater
Storm Time - sofiathewriter
Savior - Mercyme
Journal Entry of Disillusioned Environmentalist
Channels/corridors - 2sh4r
Thumbprints - Lizzie
When trains run late - montlymuser
The way in which I am a god - 2sh4r
Maybe I'll Never - elvishjedi360
Winter in Irving, Texas - pendell
It's all in your head - lalodragon
Sadness is a funny thing/the definition of grey - han123
Once, you gathered in my arms - Raconteur
Habits - monthlymuser
Good teachers have wooden floors - monthlymuser
Clouds gather for me - 2sh4r
Sparrows - PocketFuzz
unknown - azreal
Quiet - Reader.of.Dreams
Nyx - Arko

Time to get critting!

Last updated 11/22/15
						Last edited by Isis; 12-05-2015 at 03:21 PM.
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Old 05-20-2012, 07:51 AM View Post #3 (Link)
Wig (Offline)
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Dive - Isis
[untitled for now] - XxXBananaXxXBloodXxX
Ritual - Clove
Words Are Rest - Arty
China Doll - ťan
Simplicity - Intheblueluv
My Promise - CrazyAngel (PM-ed)
Ravish Me - Nevermindfan1991
Lost Nostalgia - Zero (it's short)
The Fevered Man - Arko
Dear Editor, - Mfarr1992
If You Cry - Matty99(PM-ed)
Memories of Last Summer - Lahari.g
Stones - bookworm
If You Could Only - Ashlyn
Fallen, Chapter Three - Sky
Witches Run - Charlie333
Not Quite Peter Parker - Istanutiashev101
Whispers... - Tilly Tot
How to pay an intellectual debt - Isis
Story - Julian(PM-ed)
The Ground - Moose

Emma (Origin 1) - Syn
sin the city - Niente
Claws (Chapter 2) - GoodGracious
Claudine at the beach at midnight - Isis
Confessions of an Ancient Clock - Arko
All that could have been - Valkyrie
languaging out the cruellest month (NaPo thread) - bookworm
Benzing (NaPo thread) - Sbenzing
I made Flapjacks this morning and they are golden (NaPo thread) - Derezzination
Needles - Han123
Darkness - SongWriter15
Needles (Edited) - Han123
Obsession - Hollipops14
Emma - Box15
A23N's Poetry Bootcamp
Rose's Poetry Bootcamp
Fourteen - Mclark7838
you can't beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
- Bukowski
						Last edited by Wig; 02-05-2014 at 06:17 AM.
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Old 05-29-2012, 07:41 AM View Post #4 (Link)
mfarr1992 (Offline)
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PM/VM me if you have any requests for critiques. I focus specifically on poetry, giving both an in depth and overall critique. I am willing to critique other types of writing, but they probably won't recieve extremely detailed critiques.

I work through this list in the order that I post them below (top of the list first) not necessarily by post date.

-Torn Viel - Intheblueluv
-Candy - The Enchanted Muggle
-A Bounty Hunted - BurningGrace
-Despairing Poet - Georgry
-Fiery Pest- nicolettox
-Crestfallen- Moonlight
-Ravish Me-nevermindfan1992
-Please Tell Your Mother...-nevermindfan1991
-A poem I've written...-nevermindfan1991
-The back of my neck - Isis
-Man, Oh man - nevermindfan1991

-Taking a short break from critiques until I'm back from vacation (probably back around 7/21)
						Last edited by mfarr1992; 07-11-2012 at 04:15 AM.
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Old 07-11-2012, 07:49 PM View Post #5 (Link)
Isis (Offline)
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Bumping this thread because I've added a bunch of stuff written by new members to the list. Critique spree beginning in an hour or two when I finish work for the day.
						Last edited by Isis; 08-01-2012 at 06:09 PM.
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Old 09-15-2012, 03:11 PM View Post #6 (Link)
Wig (Offline)
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I'm back into critiquing so I'll add more to my list.
you can't beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
- Bukowski
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Old 02-08-2013, 11:30 PM View Post #7 (Link)
Isis (Offline)
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I'm doing a critique bonanza tonight and I will most likely being doing some over the weekend as well. If I promised you a critique and haven't gotten around to it yet, this is a good time for a gentle reminder. If you want a crit, this is a good time to ask. If you submitted something to a poetry contest, your crit should be arriving soon.

I wish this thread got more love :(
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Old 02-09-2013, 12:02 AM View Post #8 (Link)
Spacepirate (Offline)
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Yikes. You have critiqued so much Isis. Much scare. So wow.


- We Started A War (But I'm Not Sure If You're Still Fighting It)
- Little Lost Boy
- The Origin of Water
- Candice's Song
- The Fire-Starter
- Playing Romeo
						Last edited by Spacepirate; 03-23-2014 at 07:51 PM.
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Old 02-27-2013, 03:52 PM View Post #9 (Link)
GoodGracious (Offline)
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Ooo, just discovered this thread. Great idea!

Endgame Ch. 2
Sister Ch.1

Endgame Ch. 3
Virginal Youth

My current list is miniscule.
						Last edited by GoodGracious; 03-05-2013 at 03:04 PM.
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Old 03-02-2013, 10:50 PM View Post #10 (Link)
Julian (Offline)
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Now, an established fact: Isis is not human.

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