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Old 08-03-2010, 08:56 PM View Post #1 (Link) Through The Night
yoleanneyo (Offline)
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I will start off by saying this is something that came to me one day when I suddently just started writing. I am no where close to being good, proffesional, or talented. This story is just something I feel can be really good if i do it the right way. But the only way it can be good is I need it to be critiqued. Please I am human so try not to be too harsh, but still I do want to know what is wronge with it. The first two paragraphs are from the fisrt chapter but I wanted to give you guys a look into what they are. Then the next two pazragraphs aer from the second chapter where I explain who the charactors are, and the rest is from the third chapter which I am no done with but I am seeking some thought on it. I hope you enjoy the story and see the potential in it that I see. enjoy! Also sorry if I didn't catch all the grammer ad miss-spelled words, I tryed to go back and fisx them, if you see any point them out please.

[Bowie editing to the rescue! No stories allowed in the newbie zone. Have a clean day.]

To clear up any confusion there might be when I use the word runners, in my story that is just what we call the people who go and find the newly started grothslowers. They run the territory when a growthslower that has just started is sensed. For instance in my family Peter, Keith, and Micheal are the runners.
  
						Last edited by Bowie20049; 08-03-2010 at 09:03 PM.
					
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Old 08-03-2010, 09:04 PM View Post #2 (Link)
Bowie20049 (Offline)
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Now that that's cleared up, how are you? Boy/girl? Favorite genre? Any more misc. information you can give us to entertain?
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Originally Posted by Young Writers Online View Post
i before e except after c unless e before i because forget you that's why

ಠ_ಠ Did you know that: I has an anime list /人◕‿‿◕人\?
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Old 08-03-2010, 09:20 PM View Post #3 (Link)
Alice Glitterhorn (Offline)
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Originally Posted by yoleanneyo View Post
I will start off by saying this is something that came to me one day when I suddently suddenly just started writing. I am no where nowhere close to being good, proffesional, or talented. This story is just something I feel can be really good if i I do it the right way. But the only way it can be good is I need it to be critiqued. Please I am human so try not to be too harsh, but still I do want to know what is wronge wrong with it. The first two paragraphs are from the fisrt first chapter but I wanted to give you guys a look into what they are. Then the next two pazragraphs aer paragraphs are from the second chapter where I explain who the charactors characters are, and the rest is from the third chapter which I am no done with but I am seeking some thought on it. I hope you enjoy the story and see the potential in it that I see. enjoy! Enjoy Also sorry if I didn't catch all the grammer ad and miss-spelled words, I tryed tried to go back and fisx fix them, if you see any point them out please.

[Bowie editing to the rescue! No stories allowed in the newbie zone. Have a clean day.]

To clear up any confusion there might be when I use the word runners, in my story that is just what we call the people who go and find the newly started grothslowers. They run the territory when a growthslower that has just started is sensed. For instance in my family Peter, Keith, and Micheal are the runners.
I can't wait to see the story when it is properly posted. Buckle your seat belts, keep your arms inside the car at all times, and please enjoy your ride through YWO.
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Spoiler:
Originally Posted by Caleb
when I hear the word poet

I think of you naked, rimbaud drinking, and how lovely my hair is


They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the bong-tree grows;
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,
With a ring at the end of his nose,

Word Count: 10000/50000
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Old 08-03-2010, 11:26 PM View Post #4 (Link) this is too confusing!
yoleanneyo (Offline)
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How the hell do you even put up your writing? Please help!
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Old 08-03-2010, 11:27 PM View Post #5 (Link)
Optional Toaster (Offline)
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Um...well, I'll get to that.

First of all, welcome!

Please use proper, spelling, and grammar while you're here, yadda yadda yadda.

As far as posting work goes, we have a points system. You'll have to properly critique something before posting your own work, which you can do by selecting the 'new thread' button at the top page of a forum. For further details, you should look at the FAQ for Newbies, rules, or anything of that nature.

What genres do you like to write?
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Old 08-03-2010, 11:29 PM View Post #6 (Link)
Bowie20049 (Offline)
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Well you first have to read the rules: http://www.youngwritersonline.net/rules.php

Then read this: http://www.youngwritersonline.net/showthread.php?t=531

And finally on how to critique: http://www.youngwritersonline.net/showthread.php?t=3639
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Originally Posted by Young Writers Online View Post
i before e except after c unless e before i because forget you that's why

ಠ_ಠ Did you know that: I has an anime list /人◕‿‿◕人\?
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Old 08-04-2010, 05:52 AM View Post #7 (Link)
Rose (Offline)
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Hey there, welcome to YWO.

Well, I probably have nothing else to say 'cause the other fellow members already pointed the important things...

Anyway, I'm interested in knowing your nationality. In other words, where are you from?

What do you like to read/write?

Other than that, have fun and feel free to PM/VM any member (including me) for extra help/info, or if you need a crit on your story.

Enjoy your stay.

Oh, one more thing...


Spoiler:
Twilight sucks.

I just felt like typing it.
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						Last edited by Rose; 08-06-2010 at 02:08 PM.
					
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Old 08-05-2010, 12:27 AM View Post #9 (Link)
yes (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Spacepirate View Post
Spacey will be waiting.

Spacey grins.
Wait, were you going for a stalker approach there or a pet approach?
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Old 08-05-2010, 07:34 PM View Post #10 (Link)
Im-All-For-Believing (Offline)
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Hello, welcome to YWO
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Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.



"Once you are Real you can't be ugly............

............except to people who don't understand."
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