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Old 05-13-2010, 08:42 AM View Post #1 (Link) The Indian Diva
angel of paradise (Offline)
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Here is my another sketch. Please critique it as hard as you can. I hope you will like it .
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Old 05-13-2010, 02:20 PM View Post #2 (Link)
Rose (Offline)
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Ok, so, you asked me to crit, here I go

Ok, first: The background totally threw me off, it is all smudged and the lines still show, the lines in the background that still show from the coloring should all blend in together, and they shouldn't be like that, if you know what I mean, because I can still see the different directions you colored in. (up and down, then left and up then right.. )

Secondly: There is a little problem with the left shoulder, but it can be easily fixed, I know you meant to show that the dress has some sort of bump on the shoulder, but it looks like her shoulder was dislocated, or maybe it is just me.

Thirdly: If you meant to show that she is putting her hand on her back, then it doesn't show, and besides, her hand is a little smaller than it should be.

Also: Her eye is just not done in a really proffessional way. I suggest that you work on it a little bit more. The same thing for the nose, and I suggest that you add a shade on her mouth to show the lips because it would make her look more like a real woman rather than just a cartoon.

Then: The other hand is good, just make it bigger, a little bit (I say "a little bit" a lot ) but the tips of her fingers look as if they were crushed, but they can be easily adjusted.

Are we in seventhly now? I think, anyway: For the lower part, the skirt just doesn't seem to flow right, it looks like an umbrella that is half opened or something. And the way it ends isn't quite right, it looks like an ammature did it, which is why I am suggesting editing, because you are not an ammature who just started to learn art, right?

The lines in the skirt, the ones you drew to show some flods in it, look really stiff, let your pencil flow. And erase the lines around the woman, they just ruin the whole thing.
The veil also doesn't flow the right way, it looks like the woman accidentaly washed it with glue and now it's stiff and hard, but on the bright side, it can be edited by erasing the lower part of it, and redraw it again, and make it flow better in a shape of a curve, but not a perfect one, just do it randomly in a way that it would look somehow real.

Lastly: Her feet are so small, and don't fit for her body, not even close, erase and edit, and add a floor too, bacause I know that she isn't floating.

Anyway, all in all, I liked the pause, and the whole thing in general, I don't get why you called her "Indian Diva" though, she just looks like any normal woman standing on a balcony to me.
Well, hope I helped.
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						Last edited by Rose; 05-13-2010 at 02:24 PM.
Old 05-13-2010, 02:37 PM View Post #3 (Link) This post is a reply - don't critique it
angel of paradise (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Rose View Post
Ok, so, you asked me to crit, here I go

Ok, first: The background totally threw me off, it is all smudged and the lines still show, the lines in the background that still show from the coloring should all blend in together, and they shouldn't be like that, if you know what I mean, because I can still see the different directions you colored in. (up and down, then left and up then right.. )

Secondly: There is a little problem with the left shoulder, but it can be easily fixed, I know you meant to show that the dress has some sort of bump on the shoulder, but it looks like her shoulder was dislocated, or maybe it is just me.

Thirdly: If you meant to show that she is putting her hand on her back, then it doesn't show, and besides, her hand is a little smaller than it should be.

Also: Her eye is just not done in a really proffessional way. I suggest that you work on it a little bit more. The same thing for the nose, and I suggest that you add a shade on her mouth to show the lips because it would make her look more like a real woman rather than just a cartoon.

Then: The other hand is good, just make it bigger, a little bit (I say "a little bit" a lot ) but the tips of her fingers look as if they were crushed, but they can be easily adjusted.

Are we in seventhly now? I think, anyway: For the lower part, the skirt just doesn't seem to flow right, it looks like an umbrella that is half opened or something. And the way it ends isn't quite right, it looks like an ammature did it, which is why I am suggesting editing, because you are not an ammature who just started to learn art, right?

The lines in the skirt, the ones you drew to show some flods in it, look really stiff, let your pencil flow. And erase the lines around the woman, they just ruin the whole thing.
The veil also doesn't flow the right way, it looks like the woman accidentaly washed it with glue and now it's stiff and hard, but on the bright side, it can be edited by erasing the lower part of it, and redraw it again, and make it flow better in a shape of a curve, but not a perfect one, just do it randomly in a way that it would look somehow real.

Lastly: Her feet are so small, and don't fit for her body, not even close, erase and edit, and add a floor too, bacause I know that she isn't floating.

Anyway, all in all, I liked the pause, and the whole thing in general, I don't get why you called her "Indian Diva" though, she just looks like any normal woman standing on a balcony to me.
Well, hope I helped.
Lol this not skirt, this is ghagra-choli. Indian diva is just a name, nothing else . But you helped me a lot! Thanl you sooooooo much
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Old 05-13-2010, 03:39 PM View Post #4 (Link)
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Alright... First off, I like her face and hair a lot - it's simple, but look fairly realistic. Her back looks great (the shadows and all), and so does the upper part of the ghagra-choli. It's the part further down that looks really stiff and awkward to me - the scarf (???) or other thing hanging down her shoulder twists in a very weird way, suddenly not looking like it's dropping anymore. You might want to work with getting a lot more smoothness to it there.
Her arms a just slightly too short, and her hands quite small. The right hand looks otherwise perfectly alright (might want to detail it a little, but it's nice), however, the left hand looks... well, it's not resting on the back, that's a sure thing. It looks like it's just cupped, and then kind of... held there. :D If it would be resting on the back (or actually, I would think, waist?), you would see more of the back of her hand and her thumb.

The background... well, it's extremely vague. What are the lines on her left side? They look like wrinkles in thin air. And is that a curtain on her right side, shoulder-height? It just kind of stops in the middle. What is her right hand resting on? By detailing nay furniture, and staying away from sketchy shading in the back (a bit distracting) would really make this stand out with little effort.

Hope I wasn't too harsh, and that I somehow managed to bring something new to the table (the previous commenter seemed to have a bit better knowledge about things like this than me). Overall, Love her upper body (apart from the left hand, sorry), but the art gets a lot more lazy further down. Regardless of that, the first time I saw it, I thought "Awesome". ((: Keep on practising, it won't be for nothing.
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Old 05-14-2010, 04:48 AM View Post #5 (Link) This post is a reply - don't critique it
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Originally Posted by mephet View Post
Alright... First off, I like her face and hair a lot - it's simple, but look fairly realistic. Her back looks great (the shadows and all), and so does the upper part of the ghagra-choli. It's the part further down that looks really stiff and awkward to me - the scarf (???) or other thing hanging down her shoulder twists in a very weird way, suddenly not looking like it's dropping anymore. You might want to work with getting a lot more smoothness to it there.
Her arms a just slightly too short, and her hands quite small. The right hand looks otherwise perfectly alright (might want to detail it a little, but it's nice), however, the left hand looks... well, it's not resting on the back, that's a sure thing. It looks like it's just cupped, and then kind of... held there. If it would be resting on the back (or actually, I would think, waist?), you would see more of the back of her hand and her thumb.

The background... well, it's extremely vague. What are the lines on her left side? They look like wrinkles in thin air. And is that a curtain on her right side, shoulder-height? It just kind of stops in the middle. What is her right hand resting on? By detailing nay furniture, and staying away from sketchy shading in the back (a bit distracting) would really make this stand out with little effort.

Hope I wasn't too harsh, and that I somehow managed to bring something new to the table (the previous commenter seemed to have a bit better knowledge about things like this than me). Overall, Love her upper body (apart from the left hand, sorry), but the art gets a lot more lazy further down. Regardless of that, the first time I saw it, I thought "Awesome". ((: Keep on practising, it won't be for nothing.

That is dopatta, not scarf . And yeah I think you are right about the hands, they have to be a little more long.Hmmm I think I've to work on it more. Thanks for your critique.
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Old 05-14-2010, 06:21 AM View Post #6 (Link)
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Not sure why you asked me to critique this.

I'm about as useful as a gnat but alright.

I really, honestly don't see anything in this picture that I think needs changing. It's for all intents and purposes, perfect.

I'm just an observer, and to me, it looks fantastic.

The hair, the outfit, the shading. It's all great.

You're truly a talent. Keep with it!
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Old 05-14-2010, 07:38 AM View Post #7 (Link)
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Originally Posted by angel of paradise View Post
Here is my another sketch. Please critique it as hard as you can. I hope you will like it .
Ok well, i think you are a fairly good sketcher, but i do think this needs a bit of work;

First of all: the backround is bassically just grey, which i think makes this painting a little dull.
I think this could be a really good painting if you sketched a scene in the backround, and maybe added a bit more life to this mysterious girl.

Second of all: try make her look more life like, add more features to her, make it so it looks like a photo, so to speak, without the color.

third and final : i think this could be a great sketch if you used more then just led, i think maybe if you added some bright shades of colors in the back round, but left the mysteriouse girl alone, so you have a colorful background and this self centered attention drawring mysterious black and white girl, then for sure i think it could be an amassing sketch Good job !
 
Old 05-15-2010, 12:57 PM View Post #8 (Link) This post is a reply - don't critique it
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Originally Posted by UnkownMisery View Post
Ok well, i think you are a fairly good sketcher, but i do think this needs a bit of work;

First of all: the backround is bassically just grey, which i think makes this painting a little dull.
I think this could be a really good painting if you sketched a scene in the backround, and maybe added a bit more life to this mysterious girl.

Second of all: try make her look more life like, add more features to her, make it so it looks like a photo, so to speak, without the color.

third and final : i think this could be a great sketch if you used more then just led, i think maybe if you added some bright shades of colors in the back round, but left the mysteriouse girl alone, so you have a colorful background and this self centered attention drawring mysterious black and white girl, then for sure i think it could be an amassing sketch Good job !
Colourful background with black and white girl! Hmmm I think that's a great idea. I'm going to try it on my next sketch
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Old 11-09-2014, 02:42 AM View Post #9 (Link) I wish
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I wish u can draw the whole background in that picture.... Sketching the background will not help at all. If you think u can't draw a background then why don't u try to draw some where is open space e.g a field. Your background is corner so you should draw the whole corner and with the handle. I saw you draw the Indian woman holding a wall handle. And please don't draw her sari also in sketch cause it looked dirty and unclear. The woman is clear but just the sari looked dirty. I wish u can draw more clear and clean.
 
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