Forum
Community Forum
Today's Posts
FAQ & Rules
Members List

Writing
Writing Forum
Recent Posts
Critique Guidelines

Groups
YWO Social Groups
Facebook
Myspace

Chat
 
YWA

Register

Store
Support YWO
YWO Merchandise
The Book Despository
Amazon.com (US)
Amazon.co.uk (UK)
Amazon.ca (Canada)

SBS Mag


Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-26-2009, 09:28 PM View Post #1 (Link) Beginnings for YA Fantasy?
Iridescence (Offline)
Global Moderator
 
Iridescence's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: None a yo goddamn business, fool.
Posts: 1,091
Points: 30
Times Thanked: 120
Hello, everyone . . . how ya doing?

I have a problem . . . I'm writing a first-person story about a boy named Michael and his little sister, Emma, and I'm kind of fudging it a bit with the beginning. I already posted a "sample" starter, but I very quickly found out it sucked, so I'm taking a more casual approach. See, Michael's this awkward kid with synesthesia (or so he thinks) and he doesn't have many friends (no, he's not antisocial--he's just one of those kids that attract bullies like bees to honey). Do you think starting the story off with Michael getting into a fight with said bullies is too cliche? Any ideas for a good beginning? I'll post more if more details are needed. Thanks for the help, guys!

(Oh, dear . . . I just realized I'm the only one without a signature . . . how embarrassing )
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2009, 09:43 PM View Post #2 (Link)
Mercy (Offline)
Global Moderator
 
Mercy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 969
Points: 30
Times Thanked: 103
From my experience, yeah, that sounds cliche. I can recall more movies than books that have this opening, but I still wouldn't do it.
__________________
A Little Blog:
Yawning Chasms

Feel free to PM me for a critique!
How to Critique by Andy
The Great Newb Guide
by Tsuki

  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2009, 10:05 PM View Post #3 (Link)
Iridescence (Offline)
Global Moderator
 
Iridescence's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: None a yo goddamn business, fool.
Posts: 1,091
Points: 30
Times Thanked: 120
Okay, but I'm not sure what else to do. I'm kind of short on ideas, you know? Would it be better to have a very dramatic beginning instead? I can't really do a prologue (did I spell that right?) because of the first-person thing.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2009, 10:08 PM View Post #4 (Link)
Mercy (Offline)
Global Moderator
 
Mercy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 969
Points: 30
Times Thanked: 103
You could still do a prologue. o.o
Perhaps, you could start on other areas or think about the beginning more. Most the time, I don't write something until I've thought about it for at least a week. Just try different things until you find something that feels right.
__________________
A Little Blog:
Yawning Chasms

Feel free to PM me for a critique!
How to Critique by Andy
The Great Newb Guide
by Tsuki

  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2009, 10:21 PM View Post #5 (Link)
Iridescence (Offline)
Global Moderator
 
Iridescence's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: None a yo goddamn business, fool.
Posts: 1,091
Points: 30
Times Thanked: 120
Okay, thanks. I'll meditate on my story, see what I can come up with. Hopefully I get something.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2009, 10:37 PM View Post #6 (Link)
Mercy (Offline)
Global Moderator
 
Mercy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 969
Points: 30
Times Thanked: 103
Good luck. =)
__________________
A Little Blog:
Yawning Chasms

Feel free to PM me for a critique!
How to Critique by Andy
The Great Newb Guide
by Tsuki

  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2009, 11:03 PM View Post #7 (Link)
Lykaios (Offline)
Global Moderator
 
Lykaios's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: ὡς ἐν ἄλλῳ κόσμῳ
Posts: 2,108
Points: 30
Times Thanked: 104
I have synesthesia.

It was so fun explaining to my new maths teacher why I had to write all the numbers in colour and why when she used colours, they were all wrong.

Anyway. Good fun.

/spam
__________________
Spoiler:
Our Poem (Alice, Drax, me and Spacey)
Orange-red cubes that make a wall,
they aren't always orange-red,
but butterscotch cement holds them tight
and burning wine becomes the mortar.
Diamond drops of liquid ice,
a cling-film layer that wraps up the world
with sticky taps and pitfall paper,
keeping flies trapped inside and out
--they drown a certain Scottish pirate
and then the poetry stops for good,
the - end
as jelly oozes through the cracks.


Twins with Lizzie.

poetry blog
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-29-2009, 03:11 AM View Post #8 (Link)
Iridescence (Offline)
Global Moderator
 
Iridescence's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: None a yo goddamn business, fool.
Posts: 1,091
Points: 30
Times Thanked: 120
Wow, Lykaios, that sounds pretty cool! Michael's synesthesia is with colors, too, except the colors correspond to people's emotions. If you want, you could check out the first chapter of my story in Novels: Members Only. It's the First Key (completely revised version). When you have the chance, tell me what you think of it!
__________________
Friendly reminder: Chances are, you're slouching right now. If you're not, good for you. Here's a cookie. If you are --

SIT UP STRAIGHT BITCH. GOOD POSTURE AIN'T A JOKE.




Chat Hall of Fame:
Spoiler:
[Wolfie] You gotta be shitting, me woman.
[Dabs] Everyone uses ellipses so much in this chat.
[Lykaios] lolol my life is an elipsis


Carr's Words of Wisdom

Spoiler:
fuck college read grrm
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2009, 05:34 AM View Post #9 (Link)
Shaun (Offline)
Dead Person
 
Shaun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Gainesville, FL
Posts: 5,597
Points: 11.33
Times Thanked: 136
The bully part is what will be most cliche here, but if you really push that synaethesia part you might have something truly interesting to work with. Beyond that, I don't see a problem with it. Even with the cliche bits it would probably be publishable if the story was good, to be honest.

And on a side note: I recently finished a short story in which the main character is an extreme synaesthete (she sees emotions as colors and some shapes on the bodies of others). Made for an interesting plot.
__________________
The Viking Amoeba Army is here! Run for your lives!

Tumblr!

Read my published fiction and non-fiction!

And check out The World in the Satin Bag novel podcast. Help me become rich and donate!

My Random Stuff:
--The World in the Satin Bag: My science fiction, fantasy, and writing blog!
--Check out Cheese & Crackers Original and Cheese & Crackers Superheroes
--The Skiffy and Fanty Show
--Duke and Zink Do America (Political Podcast)

YWO Stuff:
--Buy Survival By Storytelling Magazine (Issue One is available!) Support fellow YWO writers!
--And don't forget to buy something from YWO's Zazzle Store!
--Follow YWO on Twitter.

Spoiler:
This is a call to arms, gather soldiers,
Time to go to war.
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters,
Time to go to war.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2009, 02:40 AM View Post #10 (Link)
Callie (Offline)
Idea Scribe
 
Callie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Northern Arizona
Posts: 56
Points: 30
Times Thanked: 7
Hmm, I don't think that starting off with the bullying would be a bad idea... but is it going to be a main focus of the character's life and how he interacts with the world? If so, you might be repeating it over and over in the story, and so starting with it might be "overkill" since it's a pretty over-done theme in itself. If it's first-person from Michael's perspective, and he has synesthesia... you could maybe start with his first memory of relating colors to emotions, or when he first found out that it isn't "normal". Because it seems like that's going to be an underlying idea through out the entire story.

It's not the most original way to start off, but it might make your introduction pretty solid and purposeful and give intrigue to the character right off the bat.
  Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Reply
Thread Tools

 


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:51 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4 - Copyright ©2000 - 2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All writing Copyright © its author(s). All other material Copyright © 2007-2012 Young Writers Online unless otherwise specified.
Managed by Andrew Kukwa (Andy) and Shaun Duke (Shaun) from The World in the Satin Bag. Design by HTWoRKS.