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Old 11-23-2017, 03:57 AM View Post #1 (Link) Monsters
SoulSurf13 (Offline)
Abstract Thinker
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Outside your window
Posts: 45
Points: 12
Times Thanked: 8
Hey y'all. So, this is a slam poem. Tell me what ya think.

I see the tremors that wrack your feeble limbs
When someone raises a hand to you.
Your small hands shake as you struggle to cover
The fresh bruises embedded in your porcelain skin.

Eventually you begin dabbling foundation on the places
Your mother’s maternal, loving fist kissed your cheeks,
But don’t you worry, darling.
By the time you turn 16,
Your makeup skills will be refined to the point
You no longer recognize yourself as the small, sobbing girl
Cowering in her closet.

I pray that you never think of yourself as a hero.
I pray you never come crashing down the stairs
As you hear your mother’s screams.

I pray you never feel your father’s drunken
Shooting pain through your body for days to follow.

Opening your wrists will not release you from your pain, darling.
It will only turn your pain into a memorial
And you shouldn’t dedicate your body
To the things that tainted it.

Know that your being exists beyond your closet.
Know that your spirit cannot be broken
By your mother’s blows or your father’s rage

For the cyanide tablet they’re shoving under your tongue
Won’t kill you unless you choose to swallow,
And don’t you EVER choose to swallow.

Allow yourself to open your ribcage
Open your beating heart to the world
And realize
That though your house is a coffin,
That doesn’t mean the world is a graveyard.

It is time to strip your empty shelling

Step outside your closet

And live to see the day you become a mother
Who knows that words cut just as deeply as ringed fingers
And will arm herself with neither,
Married to a man who knows whiskey
And swinging fists are not a mixed beverage,

With a daughter
Who believes her closet is a place where monsters hide
Rather than a place where you hide from monsters.
I'm imagining your brain naked. I'm not impressed.
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Old 11-27-2017, 06:55 AM View Post #2 (Link)
aa_y_ush (Offline)
Literary Newbie
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Moradabad, India
Posts: 4
Points: 4.21
Times Thanked: 1
Wonderful portrayal. This is saddening that, yes, our society is constantly nagging and molesting females in weird fashions.
I would have needed a little more metaphors or explanations when you quoted "I don't want you to be a hero". Although, each and every person on this platform would have had a great emphasis on themselves because of this line, a little more play hear would have added a great deal of heat.

Elsewise, what a perfect piece of poetry. I felt every single line. A job well done. Congratulations.
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Old 12-21-2017, 03:01 AM View Post #3 (Link) Impacting Poem
JazzyRae (Offline)
Novice Writer
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 23
Points: 7.04
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This is an amazing poem. I love the verse at the end, about the closet, I feel like that is a very good way to explain what that would feel like. I don't know if it's the point to not know about the narrator, but I feel like revealing who the narrator is, would help the reader to understand the perspective better. And it is really sad that these things do go on in our world today, but I feel like you did an amazing job on this hard topic. I really enjoyed it, please write more!
						Last edited by JazzyRae; 12-21-2017 at 03:06 AM.
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