Forum
Community Forum
Today's Posts
FAQ & Rules
Members List

Writing
Writing Forum
Recent Posts
Critique Guidelines

Groups
YWO Social Groups
Facebook
Myspace

Chat
 
YWA

Register

Store
Support YWO
YWO Merchandise
The Book Despository
Amazon.com (US)
Amazon.co.uk (UK)
Amazon.ca (Canada)

SBS Mag


Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 03-19-2018, 04:57 AM View Post #1 (Link) The New Society Pt (4)
nameless (Offline)
Novice Writer
 
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 14
Points: 5
Times Thanked: 0
The New Society

Chapter 4; This is it

The alarm rings, it is 8:00 o'clock Friday morning. April 17, 2018. I awake from a sleep deprived night. Jeff and I are on our fourth, and according to CICADA, last puzzle. We managed to solve the previous two all in a matter of a week to a week and a half. We have been so accustomed to the difficulty of the puzzles, that Jeff and I began work on this one last night and we have made tremendous progress. In fact, I can confidently say that we are almost done, and close to the end of this rabbit hole. What I have seen the past couple of weeks have changed me... me and Jeff. To see what I was shown, to know what I know now... there needs to be more than 7 levels of hell for these snakes...

72 hours earlier

We were still a bit disturbed from the info we had been exposed to back at that shipping container. Jeff and I would talk about it whenever we took a break from the puzzles.

Jeff - "Can you believe that shit Roman? I still can't."

Roman - "It's f***ed up man... I can't even... An entire false flag operation that killed 3000 American lives... so that a group of oligarchs can cement their position as masters of mankind. To control every facet of our mundane existence... and they stay at the top of the food chain."

Jeff - "Tch, yea..."

Jeff takes a sip of his beer.

Jeff - "We pump billions into the military, I mean the defense budget is huge. It would be difficult to justify a budget that large to feed the beast with if there was no enemy to fight don't you think? It makes perfect sense. Create an enemy that you cannot beat, and in fact, perpetuate its existence the more you attack it. It's straight out of a movie, the most PERFECT diabolical plot ever devised by the minds of men. Get the people's support behind you and you can virtually do anything you want, even take away rights, all under the name of security."

Roman - "And to know that this isn't the first time, or the last, this has happened. And all this time we are the ones that get played. We are the mindless, clapping fools that consent to everything they do."

Jeff - "Yep... Hook line and sinker.

He takes another sip.

Jeff - "Ready to keep going?"

Roman - "Yea. lets go."

We continued cracking the puzzle. And finally, after almost 5 days worth of efforts, we finally managed to do it. As expected, we received instructions on what to do next. We promptly followed them and departed to the location posted on the letter sent to us. This time it was at an abandoned medical facility. When we arrived, we hesitantly proceeded to enter the building. The door was closed, but unlocked. We entered. It was dark, but we soon remedied that with the use of our flashlights. The letter mentioned something about the last floor of the building and so we assumed that our destination was the basement of this old, deteriorating structure. We took the stairs down to the level B3. It was there that our flashlights revealed another door at the end of a long hallway. We approached it w/caution. This time, as I turned the knob, it was locked. I broke the window to reach the lock and turn it to open the door. It slowly creaked open and when we stepped inside we saw an operating table in the middle of the room, surgical equipment on the side. "Where were we?" I inquired to myself.

Jeff - "Man this place is creepy as hell man. Why did they have to pick this place to meet up? I keep getting the chills."

Roman - "Look around, there must be something here that we are supposed to find."

After minutes of investigating the room for a clue as to what we were supposed to do, a radio that we somehow missed, because of the darkness of the room, began to play.

Radio - "Tired of feeling down? Tired of your aching, well, everything? Well never fear, for the solution to all of your aching problems are found here, at Pfizer. With top of the line medicine for your maladies, accupril, advil, aricept, aromasin, it aches, we have the cure."

The radio suddenly goes silent.

Jeff - "That was strange, and a bit freaky."

A projector on the roof of the room lights up and projects an image unto the wall of the room.

The same room w/the same 7 men appear on the screen. It's the Serpent Brotherhood members.

Cobra - " I don't care how we do it gentlemen, those urchins out there need to have these drugs in their systems. Drugs that help quell their anxiety, that remedy their symptoms and put them in a nice state of mental aloofness. When our little worker bees feel an ache, we simply give them these so they feel good enough to go back to work."

Dark figure 2 - "Then we must make sure that the CEOs that run the pharmaceutical industry have all that they need to make sure they keep the population sedated."

The footage then skips to images of a different room, filled with scientists wearing lab coats, gloves, filter masks. The footage continues to skip and it brings us into another room. Inside of this room was a safe labeled, "Cure." Into the frame comes a doctor, who then opens the safe to insert some kind of glass tube into the safe. The same doctor opens the safe and the camera zooms in to get a better view of the safe. The labels on the glass tubes read, "Diabetes," "AIDS," "Cancer."

Roman - "Are those what I think they are?"

Jeff - "I think so man... Aw man are you serious!? Are you effin' kidding me?!"

Jeff and I look on in disbelief, my hands over my mouth...

Roman - "No way that is real... I mean, it can't be real can't it? Oh my god... Oh my god...."

The footage abruptly ends.

Roman - "No, no, no. That's... you are telling me... that in that room."

The same artificial voice as before begins to speak.

Voice - "I'm afraid what you see here, and will continue to see as you move forward is all too real. We have operatives that have infiltrated their ranks and have access to classified information and clearance of the highest level to enter into places like the one you just saw. And yes, the contents you saw in that video are all to real. You, in fact, are standing in the very room where the experiments that resulted in those cures you saw were realized. We only offer the truth, truth that I believe you can handle Roman. It is difficult to accept at first, but it is imperative that you must accept what is in order to change the harsh reality that was just shown to you now. I await our next meeting."

Again, we just stood there, in the dark.

Roman - "To think that my brother died of something that we had a cure for all along... Damn it!! F***!!"

Jeff only stood there watching me as I threw myself into a deep rage, tossing everything in my sight, letting my frustration out on anything I could get my hands on. Then, he grabbed me and hugged me in an attempt to calm me down.

Roman - "That's f***ed up man... that's so messed up..."

I said with an uncontrollable sob. My lips trembling.

Jeff - "I'm here for you man... I'm here for you...."

Fast forward 48 hours later

We had just finished work on the 3rd puzzle. Little by little I could feel the old me crumble away. This soft shell that I was glad to be shedding, or rather, having it stripped off of me forcibly. This time, the message we received from CICADA did not tell us to go anywhere. it only read,

"You are now closer than ever Roman. Here is a link. Download it."

I clicked the linked and downloaded the file, after a few seconds the file was done downloading and a document appeared. I scanned the document thoroughly and so did Jeff. Our eyes were glued to the screen.

Jeff - "Holy hell..."

I read an excerpt out loud.

Roman - "Therefore, an essential part of maintaining our position secure is the need to distract the mental and physical efforts of man. For this end we use the democratic process itself. So long as there are facets of society that need to be fixed and that the public find themselves divided on, the democratic machine will see to it that man remains distracted, for the problems that will plague their daily existence, can never be eradicated. Their constitutional right that we have convinced them to hold so dear will serve as the outlet for their anger. Candidates will simply play their part as the messianic figures who offer solutions, but will be governed by a system that will not allow them to implement their well intentioned plans, for the system itself is governed by a higher power, second only to God himself."

Jeff - "So what, is democracy itself just a form of social control?"

Roman - "According to this, yes... Every 4 years we elect a guy who will enact some policy, only to have that policy changed again another 4 years later with some new policy. Meanwhile, the issue that their policy is supposed to combat, doesn't actually solve the problem because those problems were never meant to be fixed. Those problems are actually needed in order to appeal to our less rational side and so we vote for the person that makes us feel better. So we are stuck in this routine of electing leaders every 2 to 4 years who offer us what we want to hear, but can never actually deliver..... I have to give it to them, this system that they have devised is..."

Jeff - "Perfect."

Roman - "Yea... the perfect dictatorship."

Jeff - "Wow..."

Jeff looks at me with a smirk.

Jeff - "So who are you going to vote for?"

Fast forward to the present time.

It is 10 o'clock and we have just finished the final puzzle. As soon as the final puzzle was solved, my computer screen began to flash a date in big red numbers.

4/18/18

at the bottom of the date were coordinates. I quickly jotted the coordinates down and my laptop automatically went haywire. It short circuited. Perhaps it was designed to do just that once I finished the last puzzle.

Roman - "That's tomorrow. The 18th."

Jeff - "What do you think that means?"

Roman - "I'm not sure, but perhaps they want us to meet them up at this place tomorrow. We should go to a library and use their computers to check these coordinates out."

On the way to our local library, we drove by a newspaper stand that had a copy of today's edition. I saw the image of a flying saucer through my peripheral vision. I immediately hit the breaks on my bike causing some skid marks to appear on the pavement. I went back to that newspaper dispenser to get a copy of the paper. I was not wrong, there on the front page was what appeared to be a photoshopped image of a UFO, possibly for dramatic effect, but perfectly warranted drama because the headline read,

"Possible UFO crash?"

I skipped to the page that contained the news article and read that it appeared to have landed about 50 miles outside of the city. Government officials have assured that it was only a weather device that fell out of the sky due to a malfunction and that the wreckage had been cleared. No more info is available about the incident and some eyewitnesses around the area have either declined to comment or deny that what they saw was some sort of saucer and agree with the government's official story. Of course, by now, I knew better. I know what it was. Jeff and I continued our bike ride to the library. But as we rode, there were other forces plotting.

in some underground bunker in an undisclosed air force base, we find the biggest secret kept from the public and the gate keeper of that secret, the man in black.

Man in black - "Is he still alive?"

Scientist - "Yes sir, he is still breathing."

the man in black approaches the being laying down on the table.

Man in black - "Why are you interested in these... people?"

The being speaks to the man in black telepathically

Being - "They deserve to be free... they deserve to determine their own future."

The man in black becomes a bit disoriented temporarily.

Scientist - "Sir, are you ok?"

The man in black signals to the scientist to stay at a distance.

Man in black - "This is not your planet, therefore, you have no business interfering in our affairs. You have not witnessed first hand the savagery of this species. These people need a master who will keep them tame and on their leashes."

Being - "I know that they have much to learn, but I have seen their capacity for love. Their love is what makes them better than men like you."

The man in black only lets out a small, sarcastic smirk. Something rarely seen in him.

Man in black - "I know about you and your link to CICADA."

Being - "They have been great partners in preventing the plans of the dark forces from taking over this poor, young race of people. We have begun to move into the final phase."

Man in black - "What is that final phase?"

Being - "It is only a matter of time. Your lies are not sustainable. It will all come crumbling down. And my life is but a small sacrifice to that end."

Man in black - "Damn you, quit playing games and tell me!"

No response.

Man in black - "Take him to the mind control room. I will find out what I need to know one way or another."

After hours of mental manipulation, they finally force the information they need out of the extraterrestrial being. The man in black immediately makes a call on his encrypted cell phone.

Cobra - "Hello?"

Man in black - "Operation Snake"

The call is abruptly ended. The member known as Cobra stares across the room at his fellow members.

Cobra - "Gentlemen, it seems that the time for operation snake may have to be pushed to an earlier than expected time frame. This is it."

That's it for chapter 4. I actually have just one more chapter and that will conclude this story.
  
						Last edited by nameless; 03-20-2018 at 02:15 AM.
					
					 Reason: spelling errors/word choice
					Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2018, 04:02 PM View Post #2 (Link)
Light Wolf (Offline)
Literary Newbie
 
Light Wolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: England
Posts: 7
Points: 5.12
Times Thanked: 0
Originally Posted by nameless View Post
The New Society

Chapter 4; This is it (this is the chapter title, yes?)

The alarm rings,period iIt is 8:00 o'clock Friday morning. April 17, 2018. I awake from a sleep deprived night. I think you need to put more detail into this part instead of jumping right into it. Jeff and I are on our fourth, and according to CICADA, last puzzle. We managed to solve the previous two all in a matter of a week to a week and a half.try using here something like "we managed to solve the previous two all in a short span of a week and a half. We have been so accustomed i love how you use long words, most people wouldn't. to the difficulty of the puzzles, that Jeff and I began work on this one puzzle last night and we seem to have made tremendous progress. In fact, I can confidently say that we are almost done, and close to the end of this rabbit hole. What I have seen the past couple of weeks have changed me... me and Jeff. To see what I was shown, to know what I know now... there needs to be more than 7 levels of hell for these snakes...

72 hours earlier...

We were still a bit disturbed from the information we had been exposed to back at that shipping container. Jeff and I would talk about it whenever we took a break from the puzzles.

Jeff - "Can you believe that shit Roman? I still can't."

Roman - "It's f***ed messed up man... I can't even... An entire false flag operation that killed 3000 American lives... so that a group of oligarchs can cement their position as masters of mankind. To control every facet of our mundane existence... and they stay at the top of the food chain."

Jeff - "Tch, yeah..."

Jeff takes a sip of his beer.

Jeff - "We pump billions into the military, I mean the defense budget is huge. It would be difficult to justify a budget that large to feed the beast with if there was no enemy to fight don't you think? It makes perfect sense. Create an enemy that you cannot beat, and in fact, perpetuate its existence the more you attack it. It's straight out of a movie, the most PERFECT diabolical plot ever devised by the minds of men. Get the people's support behind you and you can virtually do anything you want, even take away rights, all under the name of security."

Roman - "And to know that this isn't the first time, or the last, this has happened. And all this time we are the ones that get played. We are the mindless, clapping fools that consent to everything they do."

Jeff - "Yep... Hook line and sinker.

He takes another sip.

Jeff - "Ready to keep going?"

Roman - "Yea. lets go."

We continued cracking the puzzle. And finally, after almost 5 days worth of efforts, we finally managed to do it. As expected, we received instructions on what to do next. We promptly followed them and departed to the location posted on the letter sent to us. This time it was at an abandoned medical facility. When we arrived, we hesitantly proceeded to enter the building. The door was closed, but unlocked. We entered. It was dark, but we soon remedied that with the use of our flashlights. The letter mentioned something about the last floor of the building and so we assumed that our destination was the basement of this old, deteriorating structure. We took the stairs down to the level B3. It was there that our flashlights revealed another door at the end of a long hallway. We approached it w/caution. This time, as I turned the knob, it was locked. I broke the window to reach the lock and turn it to open the door. It slowly creaked open and when we stepped inside we saw an operating table in the middle of the room, surgical equipment on the side. "Where were we?" I inquired to myself.

Jeff - "Man this place is creepy as hell man. Why did they have to pick this place to meet up? I keep getting the chills."

Roman - "Look around, there must be something here that we're are supposed to find."

After minutes of investigating the room for a clue as to what we were supposed to do, a radio that we somehow missed, because of the darkness of the room, began to play.

Radio - "Tired of feeling down? Tired of your aching, well, everything? Well never fear, for the solution to all of your aching problems are found here, at Pfizer. With top of the line medicine for your maladies, accupril, advil, aricept, aromasin, it aches, we have the cure."

The radio suddenly goes silent.

Jeff - "That was strange, and a bit freaky."

A projector on the roof of the room lights up and projects an image unto intothe wall of the room.

The same room w/ withthe same 7 men appear on the screen. It's the Serpent Brotherhood members.

Cobra - " I don't care how we do it gentlemen, those urchins out there need to have these drugs in their systems. Drugs that help quell their anxiety, that remedy their symptoms and put them in a nice state of mental aloofness. When our little worker bees feel an ache, we simply give them these so they feel good enough to go back to work."

Dark figure 2 - "Then we must make sure that the CEOs that run the pharmaceutical industry have all that they need to make sure they keep the population sedated."

The footage then skips to images of a different room, filled with scientists wearing lab coats, gloves, filter masks. The footage continues to skip and it brings us into another room. Inside of this room was a safe labeled, "Cure." Into the frame comes a doctor, who then opens the safe to insert some kind of glass tube into the safe. The same doctor opens the safe and the camera zooms in to get a better view of the safe. The labels on the glass tubes read, "Diabetes," "AIDS," "Cancer."

Roman - "Are those what I think they are?"

Jeff - "I think so man... Aw man are you serious!? Are you effin kidding me?!"

Jeff and I look on in disbelief, my hands over my mouth...

Roman - "No way that is real... I mean, it can't be real can't it? Oh my god... Oh my god...."

The footage abruptly ends.

Roman - "No, no, no. That's... you are telling me... that in that room."

The same artificial voice as before begins to speak.

Voice - "I'm afraid what you see here, and will continue to see as you move forward is all too real. We have operatives that have infiltrated their ranks and have access to classified information and clearance of the highest level to enter into places like the one you just saw. And yes, the contents you saw in that video are all to real. You, in fact, are standing in the very room where the experiments that resulted in those cures you saw were realized. We only offer the truth, truth that I believe you can handle Roman. It is difficult to accept at first, but it is imperative that you must accept what is in order to change the harsh reality that was just shown to you now. I await our next meeting."

Again, we just stood there, in the dark.

Roman - "To think that my brother died of something that we had a cure for all along... Damn it!! F***!!"

Jeff only stood there watching me as I threw myself into a deep rage, tossing everything in my sight, letting my frustration out on anything I could get my hands on. Then, he grabbed me and hugged me in an attempt to calm me down.

Roman - "That's f***ed up man... that's so messed up..."

I said with let outan uncontrollable sob. My lips trembling.

Jeff - "I'm here for you man... I'm here for you...."

Fast forward 48 hours later.

We had just finished work on the 3rd puzzle. Little by little I could feel the old me crumble away. This soft shell that I was glad to be shedding, or rather, having it stripped off of me forcibly. This time, the message we received from CICADA did not tell us to go anywhere. it only read,

"You are now closer than ever now Roman. Here is a link. Download it."

I clicked the linked and downloaded the file, after a few seconds the file was done downloading and a document appeared. I scanned the document thoroughly and so did Jeff. Our eyes were glued to the screen.

Jeff - "Holy hell..."

I read an excerpt out loud.

Roman - "Therefore, an essential part of maintaining our position secure is the need to distract the mental and physical efforts of man. For this end we use the democratic process itself. So long as there are facets of society that need to be fixed and that the public find themselves divided on, the democratic machine will see to it that man remains distracted, for the problems that will plague their daily existence, can never be eradicated. Their constitutional right that we have convinced them to hold so dear will serve as the outlet for their anger. Candidates will simply play their part as the messianic figures who offer solutions, but will be governed by a system that will not allow them to implement their well intentioned plans, for the system itself is governed by a higher power, second only to God himself."

Jeff - "So what, ? Is democracy itself just a form of social control?"

Roman - "According to this, yes... Every 4 years we elect a guy who will enact some policy, only to have that policy changed again another 4 years later with some new policy. Meanwhile, the issue that their policy is supposed to combat, doesn't actually solve the problem because those problems were never meant to be fixed. Those problems are actually needed in order to appeal to our less rational side and so we vote for the person that makes us feel better. So we are stuck in this routine of electing leaders every 2 to 4 years who offer us what we want to hear, but can never actually deliver..... I have to give it to them, this system that they have devised is..."

Jeff - "Perfect."

Roman - "Yea... the perfect dictatorship."

Jeff - "Wow..."

Jeff looks at me with a smirk.

Jeff - "So who are you going to vote for?"

Fast forward to the present time.

It is 10 o'clock and we have just finished the final puzzle. As soon as the final puzzle was solved, my computer screen began to flash a date in big red numbers.

4/18/18

at the bottom of the date were coordinates. I quickly jotted the coordinates down and my laptop automatically went haywire. It short circuited. Perhaps it was designed to do just that once I finished the last puzzle.

Roman - "That's tomorrow. The 18th."

Jeff - "What do you think that means?"

Roman - "I'm not sure, but perhaps they want us to meet them up at this place tomorrow. We should go to a library and use their computers to check these coordinates out."

On the way to our local library, we drove by a newspaper stand that had a copy of today's edition. I saw the image of a flying saucer through my peripheral vision. I immediately hit the breaks on my bike causing some skid marks to appear on the pavement. I went back to that newspaper dispenser to get a copy of the paper. I was not wrong, there on the front page was what appeared to be a photoshopped image of a UFO, possibly for dramatic effect, but perfectly warranted drama because the headline read,

"Possible UFO crash?" only ' is required on either side.

I skipped to the page that contained the news article and read that it appeared to have landed about 50 miles outside of the city. Government officials have assured that it was only a weather device that fell out of the sky due to a malfunction and that the wreckage had been cleared. No more info is available about the incident and some eyewitnesses around the area have either declined to comment or deny that what they saw was some sort of saucer and agree with the government's official story. Of course, by now, I knew better. I know what it was. Jeff and I continued our bike ride to the library. But as we rode, there were other forces plotting.

In some underground bunker in an undisclosed air force base, we find the biggest secret kept from the public and the gate keeper of that secret, the man in black.

Man in black - "Is he still alive?"

Scientist - "Yes sir, he is still breathing."

the man in black approaches the being laying down on the table.

Man in black - "Why are you interested in these... people?"

The being speaks to the man in black telepathically

Being - "They deserve to be free... they deserve to determine their own future."

The man in black becomes a bit disoriented temporarily.

Scientist - "Sir, are you ok?"

The man in black signals to the scientist to stay at a distance.

Man in black - "This is not your planet, therefore, you have no business interfering in our affairs. You have not witnessed first hand the savagery of this species. These people need a master who will keep them tame and on their leashes."

Being - "I know that they have much to learn, but I have seen their capacity for love. Their love is what makes them better than men like you."

The man in black only lets out a small, sarcastic smirk. Something rarely seen in him.

Man in black - "I know about you and your link to CICADA."

Being - "They have been great partners in preventing the plans of the dark forces from taking over this poor, young race of people. We have begun to move into the final phase."

Man in black - "What is that final phase?"

Being - "It is only a matter of time. Your lies are not sustainable. It will all come crumbling down. And my life is but a small sacrifice to that end."

Man in black - "Damn you, quit playing games and tell me!"

No response.

Man in black - "Take him to the mind control room. I will find out what I need to know one way or another."

After hours of mental manipulation, they finally force the information they need out of the extraterrestrial being. The man in black immediately makes a call on his encrypted cell phone.

Cobra - "Hello?"

Man in black - "Operation Snake"

The call is abruptly ended. The member known as Cobra stares across the room at his fellow members.

Cobra - "Gentlemen, it seems that the time for operation snake may have to be pushed to an earlier than expected time frame. This is it."

That's it for chapter 4. I actually have just one more chapter and that will conclude this story.


I actually do like this story and I'd love to read it when it's been fully edited and corrected. The only downside is that you have a bit of trouble with grammar and it would be better if you described the place and actions more. But I LOVED IT YAY. Good work!!
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2018, 04:35 AM View Post #3 (Link) This post is a reply - don't critique it
nameless (Offline)
Novice Writer
 
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 14
Points: 5
Times Thanked: 0
Thanks so much for the critique. Yea, I do have trouble sometimes finding the right words, or punctuation that I may have missed and I tell myself that i'd go back and fix it, but I forget, spelling is another one. I'll try to be more attentive to those mistakes so I can spot and correct them.

But thanks so much.
  Reply With Quote
Reply
Thread Tools

 


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:58 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7 - Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All writing Copyright © its author(s). All other material Copyright © 2007-2012 Young Writers Online unless otherwise specified.
Managed by Andrew Kukwa (Andy) and Shaun Duke (Shaun) from The World in the Satin Bag. Design by HTWoRKS.