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Old 12-21-2016, 11:46 AM View Post #1 (Link) The dragon girl (descriptions)
Rosie zizi (Offline)
Novice Writer
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Norwich, England
Posts: 15
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This is more of a description of some characters from one of my stories, I couldn't find a descriptive forum but let me know if there is one. So here we go....

He watched her closely for the rest of the journey, noticing that she was thin enough to snap. Her skin so pale, so white that her first impression showed a blood sucking vampire. Her legs were strange; one was as thin as and pale as the rest of her body the other seemed to be wrapped in an invisible leathery thing ( he later learned that this was to hide something unspeakably horrific.
Her flame red hair had an interesting way of matching her glowing, cat-like eyes.

Ok that was description no.1 here is no.2 of the same character this is, when he discovers her secret...

She stepped back and muttered something strange in a different, unworldly language before unfoiling large dragon wings from her shoulder blades. A sensible person would now be thinking: wings? That's impossible. Before coming to the simple conclusion: I must be reaming. But it is difficult to think of these things when a beautiful display of natural art is put before you. The setting sun shone through the amber coloured scales creating a translucent light across the horizon, spreading reds, oranges, rose pinks, yellows in fact there were colours of all description around them. Seeing his disbelieving expression she smiled and a tail of similar colour to the wings uncoiled itself from her left leg and flicked about wickedly in her delight. And he finally saw the dragon girl on her true form: Wild and free.

Now description no.3

" You were always different," she said quietly, " you are human, but you have the blood of a dragon." She cocked her head to one side, her sad eyes taking in every detail of this human, his hazel eyes, now bearing tears, his his jet black hair darker than the darkest of nights, his pale vampire like skin, only a hint more colour on his than on hers. This human had taught her so much, they had just become to like one another, now she might never see him again.
A tear fell down her face as she took a sheepish step forwards and said " You are the only human I have ever loved before," more tears joined the first, her voice shook uncontrollably, " but now I have to leave you, but you must remember that I will return, even if you don't remember me." Through her tears she smiled, and this one reached her Amber eyes, she took another step forward. Gently, so gently he could hardly feel it she touched her lips to hers, she smiled again as he returned her smile and she turned, spread her wings, and flew off into the stars.
						Last edited by Rosie zizi; 12-21-2016 at 12:03 PM.
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Old 12-21-2016, 07:24 PM View Post #2 (Link)
Shooting star ⭐️ (Offline)
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Join Date: Dec 2016
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This is really good. I love the way you phrased everything so dramatically so it fitted perfectly with the story genre. Maybe try and vary your vocabulary when describing to entrance the readers more.
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