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Old 08-06-2008, 03:11 PM View Post #1 (Link) Bronte's Byronic Hero
Mercy (Offline)
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I've been wanting to post this somewhere, because I never was able to find out if my essay was good or bad. We were given the assignment to write an essay about Jane Eyre, choosing one of the topics given to us. I chose to relate Mr. Rochester to the byronic hero. The assignment was given to us on a Friday and I thought it was due Monday, so I worked hard all weekend, only to find it was the outline that was due Monday. A month later, she still hadn't demanded the final copy and decided to use it as the exam essay. So, since she didn't have it graded by the last day of school....I was left wondering. =(

Anyway, sorry for the long story. x3 Here it is:

Spoiler:


Bronte’s Byronic Hero


The Byronic Hero made its debut appearance in Lord Byron’s poem, Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage; it was published in the year of 1812. With its recognition as an ingenious character design, characteristics followed so such personas can be identified in other works. The Byronic Hero is usually proud, melancholy, arrogant, self critical, an outcast, has conflicting emotions, has struggles with integrity, he lacks respect for rank or privilege and he seeks a pure life despite the fact that the hero is a sinner. Examples of such characters can be seen in Heathcliff from the novel by Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights and Major T.E. Lawrence from the film Lawrence from Arabia. Another brilliant example is Edward Rochester from the novel Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte; like her sister, Charlotte has molded a character that contains several qualities of a Byronic Hero.
The most prominent of these characteristics is that Mr. Rochester is often trying to eliminate his painful past, attempting to cure himself from the errors of his youth. For instance, when the character Mr. Mason is introduced as a mysterious stranger and Jane tells Mr. Rochester of his arrival, Rochester replies: “I wish I were in a quiet island with you and only you; and trouble, and danger, and hideous recollections removed from me.” This statement hints at Edward’s desire to leave his sinful past behind. Another example is when he asks for Jane’s hand in marriage. Mr. Rochester says to her, “…I flew through Europe half made; with disgust, hate and rage as my companions: now, I shall revisit it healed and cleansed, with a very angel as my comforter.” This statement suggests that Edward believes that Jane will erase all of his past transgressions, thus baptizing him as pure. This idea is vanquished when Bertha appears- Mr. Rochester’s first wife; and so the third instance is supplied. Mr. Rochester feels that he must deceive Jane for the sake of his “…re-transformation from an India-rubber back to flesh?” Our Byronic hero wishes to dispose of his tough nature that his past has caused him to become; he wishes to change from a sinful, misery-clouded man to one of happiness and innocence, and what better way than to fall back into an untainted life than with true love? As a result, Edward Rochester attempts to conceal Bertha from all around him. Finally, after Jane leaves him due her discovery of Rochester’s first wife, Thornfield Hall is set ablaze by Bertha herself. Mr. Rochester, in an effort to eradicate his guilt for the past, makes an effort to save everyone and anyone he can; consequently, he becomes crippled and blind; the result, could perhaps, be the very thing that frees him from his sins, now that he has been, in a way, ‘punished’ for them.
The second characteristic that Mr. Rochester strongly portrays is his disregard for the social ladder that was deemed an important issue in the time era the book was written.
In the primary stages of a party Edward is hosting, he asks for Jane to attend despite the fact that she is clearly not wanted by the other guests; the cause is her social status. As the party consisted of aristocrats and Jane was a governess, it would not be proper for such a gap in rank to be interacting in such a way; even if Jane were to sit on the side, she would be ignored because of her position as a governess. Although Mr. Edward Rochester knows this, he still requires Jane’s appearance; therefore showing his lack for respect of social statuses and the norm. Next, while hosting the party at Thornfield Hall, he disappears only to reappear in the guise of a gypsy. In doing this, Edward disregards what others would think of him, as this would no doubt be seen as a pusillanimous action; even subjecting himself to their distaste would be something no common person of the 19th Century would want to attempt. Ultimately, when Edward asks Jane to marry him, he says: “You- poor and obscure, and small and plain as you are- I entreat to accept me as a husband.” Within this statement, Rochester has identified what others would think of her as well as his request; hence showing his disdain towards the social norm and ranks.
Finally, there is Edward Rochester’s prideful, moody and melancholy nature. One of our first glimpses of this is during Jane’s first real conversation with him. Afterwards, she states her opinion of him, saying that, “…he is very changeful and abrupt.” In response, Mrs. Fairfax answers by saying, “Partly, because of his nature- and we can none of us help our nature; and partly, he has painful thoughts, no doubt, to harass him, and make his spirits unequal.” This not only confirms his moodiness but also his melancholy disposition because of unknown past events. Later in the book, Mr. Rochester questions Jane if she thinks him handsome. Following a discussion, Jane comments on his looks: “…I am sure most people would have thought him an ugly man; yet there was so much unconscious pride in his port…” This small remark hints at his prideful character. Finally, his arrogance shines through when Mr. Rochester tells Jane what he believes his ward, Adele, thinks of him. Jane tells us that “he thought himself her idle…; he believed, as he said, she preferred his ‘taille d’athlete’ to the elegance of Apollo Belvidere.”
Edward Rochester was indeed a Byronic Hero, his desire to become pure and erase his sins, his disregard for the social status of the time, and his moodiness, pride, melancholy nature are all evidence of this. Although there were several other characteristics of Mr. Rochester, these few were the most displayed throughout the book. Lord Bryon’s character design was famous and influenced several writers, among them the Bronte sisters; without the Byronic Hero, Edward Rochester would most certainly not exist as we know him today.

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Old 08-06-2008, 04:30 PM View Post #2 (Link)
Alex (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Mercy View Post
I've been wanting to post this somewhere, because I never was able to find out if my essay was good or bad. We were given the assignment to write an essay about Jane Eyre, choosing one of the topics given to us. I chose to relate Mr. Rochester to the byronic hero. The assignment was given to us on a Friday and I thought it was due Monday, so I worked hard all weekend, only to find it was the outline that was due Monday. A month later, she still hadn't demanded the final copy and decided to use it as the exam essay. So, since she didn't have it graded by the last day of school....I was left wondering. =(

Anyway, sorry for the long story. x3 Here it is:

Spoiler:


Bronte’s Byronic Hero


The Byronic Hero made its debut appearance in Lord Byron’s poem, Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage; it was ((it was is unecessary)) published in the year of 1812. With its recognition as an ingenious character design, characteristics followed so such ((similar, I've always hated the phrase 'so such')) personas can be identified in other works. The Byronic Hero is usually proud, melancholy, arrogant, self critical, an outcast ((all the othrs are adjectives, keep it the same here by changing this to introverted or something of that nature)) , has conflicting emotions, has struggles with integrity, he ((I think its ironic how you are writing about Jane Eyre, but this is kind of sexist here =p)) lacks respect for rank or privilege ((comma)) and he ((same as above)) seeks a pure life despite the fact that the hero is a sinner. Examples of such characters can be seen in Heathcliff from the novel by Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights and Major T.E. Lawrence from the film Lawrence from Arabia. Another brilliant example is Edward Rochester from the novel Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte; like her sister, Charlotte has molded a character that contains several qualities of a Byronic Hero. ((I liked all the intro, but it was long winded, you can't have the ifrst mention of the book in the very lastline. Also, you need to have your thesis outlined some how, relate each topic sentence of the paragraphs to a prong in the thesis. This is also an incrediblely general thesis))

The most prominent of these characteristics is that Mr. Rochester is often trying to eliminate his painful past ((this reads awkwardly, maybe 'The most prominent qualities she portrays are through Mr. Rochester, and his desire to eliminate his painful past')) , attempting to cure himself from the errors of his youth ((This can be explained later, keep the topic sentence nice and concise, end it where I gave you my last information. You can't allow for the body paragraphs to become plotty because the teacher, who you are writing the essay for, has read the book and it is assumed they already know what happened)) . For instance, when the character ((comma)) Mr. Mason ((comma)) is introduced as a mysterious stranger and Jane tells Mr. Rochester of his arrival, Rochester replies: “I wish I were in a quiet island with you and only you; and trouble, and danger, and hideous recollections removed from me.” This statement hints at Edward’s desire to leave his sinful past behind. Another example is when he asks for Jane’s hand in marriage ((these sentences are ok, but not great set-up sentences, just keep that in mind)) . Mr. Rochester says to her, “ ((In standard MLA format, which most colleges and high schools use, quotes over four lines need to be double indented. Now, I don't know exactly how long this is, but I think it might be four, and, well... you know)) …I flew through Europe half made; with disgust, hate and rage as my companions: now, I shall revisit it healed and cleansed, with a very angel as my comforter.” This statement suggests that Edward believes that Jane will erase all of his past transgressions, thus baptizing ((I understand what you are trying to do, but, in this context, just to me I guess, it seems to take on much too literal a context)) him as pure. This idea is vanquished when Bertha appears- Mr. Rochester’s first wife; ((comma)) and so ((so is uneeded, its useless filler)) the third instance is supplied. Mr. Rochester feels that he must deceive Jane for the sake of his “…re-transformation from an India-rubber back to flesh?” Our Byronic hero wishes to dispose of his tough nature that his past has caused him to become; he wishes to change from a sinful, misery-clouded man to one of happiness and innocence, and what better way than to fall back into an untainted life than with true love? ((you don't ask a question in an essay like this, at least nowhere other than the hook.)) [STRIKE]As a result, Edward Rochester attempts to conceal Bertha from all around him. Finally, after Jane leaves him due her discovery of Rochester’s first wife, Thornfield Hall is set ablaze by Bertha herself. Mr. Rochester, in an effort to eradicate his guilt for the past, makes an effort to save everyone and anyone he can; consequently, he becomes crippled and blind; the result[/STRIKE] ((no no no no no, this is all plot. This is not analysis)) , could perhaps ((perhaps is a horrible word for essays, it shows you aren't certain, and if you aren't certain in your analizations, and if that is the case then what reason is there for your reader to believe you?)) , be the very thing that frees him from his sins, now that he has been, in a way, ‘punished’ for them ((now this is good, but you don't need four lines of analysis to set it up)) .
The second characteristic that Mr. Rochester strongly portrays is his disregard for the social ladder that was deemed an important issue in the time era the book was written.

In the primary stages of a party Edward is hosting, he asks for Jane to attend despite the fact that she is clearly not wanted by the other guests; the cause is her social status ((This is much too subtle to be a topic sentence, and the first two lines of plot are uneeded. Say outright that the trait is her social status and then say why it matters as consiely as you can)) . As the party consisted of aristocrats and Jane was a governess, it would not be proper for such a gap in rank to be interacting in such a way ((first off, this is bad no matter what type of essay it is. If this were an informative essay, or a blurb, about the book then this is weak because you don't explain the diffrence between governess and aristocrat and how they are difference in the context of the book. second off, if this is a school essay this is unecessary plot because, as I've said, the reader of your essay already knows this)) ; even if Jane were to sit on the side, she would be ignored because of her position as a governess ((this is starting to ramble as well, and I have yet to read some real text analysis this paragraph)) . Although Mr. Edward ((Edward is uneeded this deep into the essay)) Rochester knows this, he still requires Jane’s appearance; therefore showing his lack for respect of social statuses and the norm ((see, this is the way you use plot to describe, you take an event - either text or paraphrased - and say why it is important and relevant to your topic)) . Next, while hosting the party at Thornfield Hall ((again, useless description, who cares where it was at at this point, give me some analytical skills!)) , he disappears only to reappear in the guise of a gypsy. In doing this, Edward disregards what others would think of him, as this would no doubt be seen as a pusillanimous action; even subjecting himself to their distaste would be something no common person of the 19th Century would want to attempt. Ultimately, when Edward asks Jane to marry him, he says: “You- poor and obscure, and small and plain as you are- I entreat to accept me as a husband.” Within this statement, Rochester has identified what others would think of her as well as his request; hence showing his disdain towards the social norm and ranks. ((Rule of thumb, for every line of setup there should be double the analysis, especially in a paragraph this long, but I only counted 3 lines of analysis to 5 to plot. You need to work on this))

Finally, there is Edward Rochester’s prideful, moody and melancholy nature. One of our ((this is a personal pronoun talking about you as a specific entity and the reader as a specific entity and that is a no-no)) first glimpses of this is ((are)) during Jane’s first real conversation with him. Afterwards, she states her opinion of him, saying that, “…he is very changeful and abrupt.” In response, Mrs. Fairfax answers by saying, “Partly, because of his nature- and we can none of us help our nature; and partly, he has painful thoughts, no doubt, to harass him, and make his spirits unequal.” This not only confirms his moodiness but also his melancholy disposition because of unknown past events. Later in the book, Mr. Rochester questions Jane if she thinks him handsome. Following a discussion, Jane comments on his looks: “…I am sure most people would have thought him an ugly man; yet there was so much unconscious pride in his port…” This small remark hints at his prideful character. Finally, his arrogance shines through when Mr. Rochester tells Jane what he believes his ward, Adele, thinks of him. Jane tells us that “he thought himself her idle…; he believed, as he said, she preferred his ‘taille d’athlete’ to the elegance of Apollo Belvidere.”

Edward Rochester was indeed a Byronic Hero, his desire to become pure and erase his sins, his disregard for the social status of the time, and his moodiness, pride, ((and)) melancholy nature are all evidence of this. Although there were several other characteristics of Mr. Rochester, these few were the most displayed throughout the book ((this is useless conclusion filler, don't worry, I do this to; but that doesn't mean its good =p)) . Lord Bryon’s character design was famous and influenced several writers, among them the Bronte sisters; without the Byronic Hero, Edward Rochester would most certainly not exist as we know him today.

Ok, my big things with this essay. Its almost entirely plot. I know you can do better because the lines of description you did have were pretty damn good, but when its overshadowed by five lines of plot before it it doesn't matter. You aren't going deep enough, not because you can't, but you aren't allowing yourself to. I'm assuming you're in 9th grade if you're reading this book, correct?

The second thing that irked me was the entire idea. I get the fact that you went with 'Rochester is a byronic hero for this, this, and this', but not once did you link what you were discussing in your paragraphs back to your thesis ((which I pointed out needs editing)). This is my biggest problem, personally, straying off course, and let me tell you it gets harder the more and more analysis you want and are forced to put in. If you are already drifting away from the topic at hand in some instances, then that is not a good sign.

Relating back to the thesis is one of the most important things, to prove to the reader you have a link. Then again, for a book like Jane Eyre I feel this was an incredibally hard topic because its so incredibley weak. A topic dealing with the social commentary or something of the like would be stronger ((no, I didn't do this >.<, my egos not that large =p)). Overall, it needs work. I'm a rising junior, and if I were a teacher to grade this I would probably give this a B, 86, 8.5 depending on where you live and the way they grade there.
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Old 08-06-2008, 04:45 PM View Post #3 (Link) This post is a reply - don't critique it
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Thank you for taking your time to critique this! Of course, it only gives me more evidence that my 9th grade English Honors teacher taught me nothing (her lesson plan was to teach us how to write sentences/paragraphs the first semester >.>).

Anyway, thank for very much, gain, for the critique. It helped me understand how to do this kind of paper. We never went over analysis papers in class, and the only reason I picked this subject was because I wanted to understand the characterization of a Byronic Hero better. ;

But, I was wondering if you could tell me how
Spoiler:
The Byronic Hero is usually proud, melancholy, arrogant, self critical, an outcast, has conflicting emotions, has struggles with integrity, he ((I think its ironic how you are writing about Jane Eyre, but this is kind of sexist here =p)) lacks respect for rank or privilege and he seeks a pure life despite the fact that the hero is a sinner.
is sexist. ; I don't understand how it is.
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Old 08-06-2008, 06:07 PM View Post #4 (Link)
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its not always a he =p
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Old 08-06-2008, 07:28 PM View Post #5 (Link)
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Originally Posted by Mercy View Post
I've been wanting to post this somewhere, because I never was able to find out if my essay was good or bad. We were given the assignment to write an essay about Jane Eyre, choosing one of the topics given to us. I chose to relate Mr. Rochester to the byronic hero. The assignment was given to us on a Friday and I thought it was due Monday, so I worked hard all weekend, only to find it was the outline that was due Monday. A month later, she still hadn't demanded the final copy and decided to use it as the exam essay. So, since she didn't have it graded by the last day of school....I was left wondering. =(

Anyway, sorry for the long story. x3 Here it is:

Spoiler:


Bronte’s Byronic Hero


The Byronic Hero made its debut appearance in Lord Byron’s poem, Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage; it was(it was can be deleted, it's unnecessary) published in the year of 1812. With its recognition as an ingenious character design, characteristics followed(I think there should be a comma here..it kinda sounds weird without it) so such personas can be identified in other works. The Byronic Hero is usually proud, melancholy, arrogant, self critical, an outcast, has conflicting emotions, has struggles with integrity, he lacks respect for rank or privilege(comma) and he seeks a pure life despite the fact that the hero is a sinner. (This sentence should be reworded so that there isn't just commas to add in all the traits; you can use some connecting words to smooth it out) Examples of such characters can be seen in Heathcliff from the novel by Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights and Major T.E. Lawrence from the film Lawrence from Arabia. Another brilliant example is Edward Rochester from the novel Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte; like her sister, Charlotte has molded a character that contains several qualities of a Byronic Hero.

The most prominent of these characteristics is that Mr. Rochester is often trying to eliminate his painful past, attempting to cure himself from the errors of his youth. For instance, when the character Mr. Mason (comma) is introduced as a mysterious stranger and Jane tells Mr. Rochester of his arrival, Rochester replies: “I wish I were in a quiet island with you and only you; and trouble, and danger, and hideous recollections removed from me.” This statement hints at Edward’s desire to leave his sinful past behind. Another example is when he asks for Jane’s hand in marriage. Mr. Rochester says to her, “…I flew through Europe half made; with disgust, hate and rage as my companions: now, I shall revisit it healed and cleansed, with a very angel as my comforter.” This statement suggests that Edward believes that Jane will erase all of his past transgressions, thus baptizing him as pure. This idea is vanquished when Bertha appears- Mr. Rochester’s first wife; and so the third instance is supplied. Mr. Rochester feels that he must deceive Jane for the sake of his “…re-transformation from an India-rubber back to flesh?” Our Byronic hero wishes to dispose of his tough nature that his past has caused him to become; he wishes to change from a sinful, misery-clouded man to one of happiness and innocence, and what better way than to fall back into an untainted life than with true love?(The way you wrote this question doesn't really fit it with the essay) As a result, Edward Rochester attempts to conceal Bertha from all around him. Finally, after Jane leaves him due her discovery of Rochester’s first wife, Thornfield Hall is set ablaze by Bertha herself. Mr. Rochester, in an effort to eradicate his guilt for the past, makes an effort to save everyone and anyone he can; consequently, he becomes crippled and blind; the result, could perhaps(perhaps should be replaced with another more definite word), be the very thing that frees him from his sins, now that he has been, in a way, ‘punished’ for them.
The second characteristic that Mr. Rochester strongly portrays is his disregard for the social ladder that was deemed an important issue in the time era the book was written.
In the primary stages of a party Edward is hosting, he asks for Jane to attend despite the fact that she is clearly not wanted by the other guests; the cause is her social status. As the party consisted of aristocrats and Jane was a governess, it would not be proper for such a gap in rank to be interacting in such a way; even if Jane were to sit on the side, she would be ignored because of her position as a governess. Although Mr. Edward Rochester knows this, he still requires Jane’s appearance; therefore showing his lack for respect of social statuses and the norm. Next, while hosting the party at Thornfield Hall, he disappears only to reappear in the guise of a gypsy. In doing this, Edward disregards what others would think of him, as this would no doubt be seen as a pusillanimous action; even subjecting himself to their distaste would be something no common person of the 19th Century would want to attempt. Ultimately, when Edward asks Jane to marry him, he says: “You- poor and obscure, and small and plain as you are- I entreat to accept me as a husband.” Within this statement, Rochester has identified what others would think of her as well as his request; hence showing his disdain towards the social norm and ranks.

Finally, there is Edward Rochester’s prideful, moody and melancholy nature. One of our(in an essay "our" should not be used, essays are most often wrote in third person) first glimpses of this is during Jane’s first real conversation with him. Afterwards, she states her opinion of him, saying that, “…he is very changeful and abrupt.” In response, Mrs. Fairfax answers by saying, “Partly, because of his nature- and we can none of us help our nature; and partly, he has painful thoughts, no doubt, to harass him, and make his spirits unequal.” This not only confirms his moodiness but also his melancholy disposition because of unknown past events. Later in the book, Mr. Rochester questions Jane if she thinks him handsome. Following a discussion, Jane comments on his looks: “…I am sure most people would have thought him an ugly man; yet there was so much unconscious pride in his port…” This small remark hints at his prideful character. Finally, his arrogance shines through when Mr. Rochester tells Jane what he believes his ward, Adele, thinks of him. Jane tells us that “he thought himself her idle…; he believed, as he said, she preferred his ‘taille d’athlete’ to the elegance of Apollo Belvidere.”
Edward Rochester was indeed a Byronic Hero, his desire to become pure and erase his sins, his disregard for the social status of the time, and his moodiness, pride, melancholy nature are all evidence of this. Although there were several other characteristics of Mr. Rochester, these few were the most displayed throughout the book. Lord Bryon’s character design was famous and influenced several writers, among them the Bronte sisters; without the Byronic Hero, Edward Rochester would most certainly not exist as we know him today.
(An essay is supposed to have a thesis which relates to every paragraph, but I don't really see that)
This was interesting I must say, but in the structure that you wrote it in, a book review or...something else would fit in. Your essay was good but it has too many information about the plot, interesting as it is, you should analyze it more and link what you're talking about towards your thesis. The description was really well written, I learned a lot about Byronic Hero and to what you branched out with.
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