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Old 06-14-2014, 04:17 AM View Post #1 (Link) The Cyborg
Kaerain (Offline)
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http://s1372.photobucket.com/user/Ma...0d3ad.jpg.html
  
						Last edited by Kaerain; 06-14-2014 at 04:20 AM.
					
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Old 06-14-2014, 09:59 AM View Post #2 (Link)
AdrenalinJunkie (Offline)
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Ok, so I've never actually critiqued art before, but I like experimenting, so here goes.

Stuff that I liked: I liked the non cyborg part of her torso because even though her arm muscles and stomach were out of proportion I think that adds to that kind of style and it made it look cute. I think you could have made her torso slightly less wide and taken in the shoulder a bit as there is too much contrast between the width of the human torso and the width of the cyborg torso. I also liked her ear, it was really detailed and I loved the little curls that came off the top. Bit confused about why she didn't have two ears?
There was quite a bit of definition to her face, you outlined the eye sockets and cheek bones, but I feel there could have been more, it felt a bit too simplistic as it was.


Stuff that maybe you could improve: It's been years since I took art, but they always said that the eyes should be halfway down the head, whereas yours are at the 2/3 mark. If you actually take a photo and measure it, the eyes generally do come out a bit further down, even if it doesn't look like it. I'm also a bit confused about the cyborg half, because there isn't really much interesting stuff in that half- I can't see any cogs or anything (well there are a couple in the brain, but none in the centre of the picture), and to do a cyborg part, you've taken out all the interesting detail that it would have if it was the human half, so there isn't much to look at in that part. I think I also mentioned earlier that the cyborg part is out of proportion, it's too narrow, and it's not really a pose that a person would actually use, so it doesn't look realistic. Maybe outline the figure first to make sure it's in a comfortable posture, and then start drawing in the mechanical parts?

Ok, I'm sorry that what I've written is in such a confusing way, I wasn't sure how to express what I wanted to say. Ask me if you're confused.
AJ out.
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Old 06-15-2014, 01:29 AM View Post #3 (Link) This post is a reply - don't critique it
Kaerain (Offline)
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Hi you didn't confuse me but I did do detail in the robot half if you look closley but I have always had issues with proportianing .
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Old 06-15-2014, 03:32 AM View Post #4 (Link)
asclepias acida (Offline)
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First off let me just say that this seems like a bit of an amateur drawing, but keep at it and you will get better!

The first critique was correct, the proportions are a bit weird. Here's a website I use sometimes to get a bit better at anatomy and humanoid proportions: http://www.posemaniacs.com/
I'd say exercise with that website a bit.

Onto the actual drawing:
One of the most important things in art is the composition, and this one is too...plain. Not in the sense of the perspective but in the sense of where you placed what. It's very crowded at the bottom and kind of spacious at the top. I'd say add more detail to her head. Another thing I find unappealing is the fact that she is split directly in half. That makes for an unattractive composition. Most artists use the rule of thirds, where their composition is split up into three thirds, or two thirds and a third. (You often see that with clothing too)

Here are some examples:
Spoiler:

^ this one shows directly where the rule of thirds applies
Spoiler:


^ and here I will explain it. Here, the painting is actually divided by thirds horizontally and vertically. Horizontally, you have the third with the figure's faces and the windows behind them (which, there happen to be three windows and three more on each side... not a coincidence...) then you have the third with the figures torsos and the table, and finally the third with the table legs and their feet. Then you have the thirds vertically. I estimate that the first third (starting from the left) ends at the fourth figure, and the second third ends at the figure to the left of Jesus (Jesus' left that is, not yours...or if that's a little confusing, the second third ends at the guy wearing green )
Finally you have the final third, and as such the composition is interesting.

So as you can see, the issue isn't symmetry or whether or not you should be symmetrical, seeing as the last supper painting is pretty symmetrical... the issue is how you divide your drawing up.

What you can do to your drawing to make it more interesting is make one of the halves slightly bigger, and as such divide the drawing into 2/3 and 1/3. (For example, extend the cyborg half on her torso or face.)

Here are some examples of cyborg drawings that are made more interesting by following the rule of thirds:

(artist: Scarlett Royal...I think...according to what I found )
See how it's not completely half and half?

(artist: http://fightpunch.deviantart.com/)

Anyway these artists also make the drawings interesting using angles. The way your figure is posing is indeed very awkward, and plain.

Another issue is the lack of shadows. While a lack of shadows and flat drawings can be very beautiful, I think that wasn't necessarily your intention, and if it was, here are some example drawings of it just so you could see the techniques used. (Usually a large amount of line is used to indicate shadows and detail)
Spoiler:

Spoiler:

(Also rule of thirds in action for both of those... see if you can find it. )

Anyway some of your biggest issues are technique and composition. Practice at those and you will be good to go! Just remember that it takes patience and lots of practice... and (sadly for me) doodling is not practice. It takes diligence to get anywhere. Good luck, I hope I was helpful! (I don't crit art much, so all I could do was provide you with examples of...stuff. Anyway good luck <333)
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Old 06-15-2014, 06:32 PM View Post #5 (Link) This post is a reply - don't critique it
Kaerain (Offline)
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Thanks a lot ! I'm workin on a nature seen right now but next time I do a cyborg I will take your advice again thanks so much!
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Old 06-25-2014, 06:56 PM View Post #6 (Link)
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Hey! Sorry it took so long to get to this, but I love seeing new art on here.

First I want to say that the other comments on proportion, composition, and shading are extremely important and accurate, no matter what your subject matter is.

Second, my biggest advice would be to spend time on it. Do a basic sketch first, and don't be afraid to erase or copy it over until it looks right to you. Draw different versions of the same thing, and see which one you like best.

If you're drawing a humanoid subject matter, use the mirror and pose until you find a position that looks interesting to you, or look at other artist's examples. If you're working with nature, go outside and look at it where possible or Google for the sort of flowers you want-- don't be afraid to use references (as long as you give full credit and use them properly, of course). There's a lot of galleries you can find online for that sort of thing-- if you're doing animals, say, Chicken Smoothie has some good action poses here: http://photos.chickensmoothie.com/

In terms of this specific work, try experimenting with different styles-- see what sort of difference you can make redoing the image with thick lines in some places and thin lines in others. Draw with the pencil at an angle, or sharpen it to a point, and compare the different lines. Try crosshatching. When you create lines, work on making them neat and precise (or let them be foggy, but make it look purposeful). If in future works you use color, don't just use one color-- see what happens when they blend, or if you use a lot of different shades together, etc. Play around with it, have fun.

Let me know when you post more work on here, I'd love to see it!
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Old 07-01-2014, 03:23 AM View Post #7 (Link) This post is a reply - don't critique it
Kaerain (Offline)
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I liked it and I will
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