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Old 05-24-2014, 05:24 PM View Post #1 (Link) I Can
Fawole Phoebe (Offline)
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Location: God's hands
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It's been long since I've posted anything other than critiques. I'm not sure about these lyrics but lease critique nicely.

Verse 1:
People come, people go
See me run as I flow
And a a a and

You can see that I'm me and
I really like the way I am oh! Oh

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
Yeah! Yeah!
I can do anything, anything


Verse 2:
The sky is very bright
And I can do what is right
For
When I pray to my God
I believe he is my guard

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
I can do anything, anything

Rap:
I can
I can move mountains and turn the sea
I can
I can do anything when I believe
I can
Even when the devil puts me down
Ican
I can do anything and not just frown

A long time ago
I hid my face
But with nothing much ado
I knew my place
I felt I had this great talent that should fill the space
What I just did was to join the pace
You can
You can do anything even when you face difficulties
Things might happen to you with a lot of probabilities
But what you can do is to pray like Moses
And before you know it you will surely find Justice.

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
Yeah! Yeah!
I can do anything, anything.
__________________
I am :
Pretty
Honest
Optimistic
Energetic
Brilliant
Excellent. That's why I am PHOEBE
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Old 05-28-2014, 01:10 AM View Post #2 (Link)
unicorn04 (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Fawole Phoebe View Post
It's been long since I've posted anything other than critiques. I'm not sure about these lyrics but lease critique nicely.

Verse 1:
People come, people go
See me run as I flow
And a a a andYou know, I felt uncomfortable with the last line of this stanza. "And" doesn't really seem to close off this stanza, because as soon as you enter the next stanza it seems a bit like you change the subject. I guess it is kind of up to the writer

You can see that I'm me and
I really like the way I am oh! OhHow long do you want the second "oh" to last? The reason I ask is because if you look at the stanzas above, there are three lines, and in this stanza there are two. So, the longer the "oh" last, the better it matches the first stanza.

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
Yeah! Yeah!
I can do anything, anythingThis chorus is really good. I don't find anything incorrect here.


Verse 2:
The sky is very bright
And I can do what is right I don't think that the sky being bright and doing what is right relates at all... But it rhymes!
For
When I pray to my God
I believe he is my guard I just have this uncomfortable feeling as you include God in your lyrics. It sounds religious, not exactly what I would do. Luckily, everyone is different, so including God isn't much of a prob.

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
I can do anything, anything

Rap:
I can
I can move mountains and turn the sea
I can
I can do anything when I believe
I can
Even when the devil puts me down
Ican
I can do anything and not just frown
Above and below is all rap, right?
A long time ago
I hid my face
But with nothing much ado
I knew my place
I felt I had this great talent that should fill the space
What I just did was to join the pace
You can
You can do anything even when you face difficulties
Things might happen to you with a lot of probabilities
But what you can do is to pray like Moses
And before you know it you will surely find Justice.

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
Yeah! Yeah!
I can do anything, anything.
Hey! You did super good on this. I liked how this song produced a strong emotion. Keep singing!
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Old 06-04-2014, 06:12 PM View Post #3 (Link)
Lonely girl (Offline)
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Location: India
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Verse 1:
People come, people go
See me run as I flow
And a a a and

You can see that I'm me and
I really like the way I am oh! Oh

I am not much of a critique honestly,so whatever I say if it hurts you,I am sorry for that.so your first verse was good enough but,the third line of the first para that is, (And a a a and) I didn't find it much good.other than that everything was cool..

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
Yeah! Yeah!
I can do anything, anything

The chorus is really nice. I liked the rhythm of this song..Nice chorus..

Verse 2:
The sky is very bright
And I can do what is right
For
When I pray to my God
I believe he is my guard

I didn't find a link between the sky and the doing something right..I can understand you are using it for the lines to rhyme..but still..but the other two lines related to God were well enough.

Rap:
I can
I can move mountains and turn the sea
I can
I can do anything when I believe
I can
Even when the devil puts me down
Ican
I can do anything and not just frown


Then there is chorus after which there is this rap.good one but there is a typo in the second last line (Ican) a silly mistake of course..but the rap is really good.

A long time ago
I hid my face
But with nothing much ado
I knew my place
I felt I had this great talent that should fill the space
What I just did was to join the pace
You can
You can do anything even when you face difficulties
Things might happen to you with a lot of probabilities
But what you can do is to pray like Moses
And before you know it you will surely find Justice.

This was also a good stanza and was nice..You have a great talent for song writing.other than a few silly mistakes here and there,everything else is nice..keep it up!
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Old 07-10-2014, 03:10 AM View Post #4 (Link)
Rango Rinzen JM (Offline)
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Sapporo, Japan
Posts: 3
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Cool
The wording is great. I like it. I can't really see anything to edit. You got talent. Keep up the good work.
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:27 AM View Post #5 (Link)
Stacey (Offline)
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Nigeria
Posts: 35
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This is really deep and strong worded.Fact is i loved it.I dont even know what genre of music this is ,but it is really unique.You could always make it longer tho....but that's just me.NICE WORK
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Old 09-21-2014, 09:42 AM View Post #6 (Link)
MusicLover (Offline)
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 3
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Originally Posted by Fawole Phoebe View Post
It's been long since I've posted anything other than critiques. I'm not sure about these lyrics but lease critique nicely.

Verse 1:
People come, people go
See me run as I flow
And a a a and

You can see that I'm me and
I really like the way I am oh! Oh

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
Yeah! Yeah!
I can do anything, anything


Verse 2:
The sky is very bright
And I can do what is right
For
When I pray to my God
I believe he is my guard

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
I can do anything, anything

Rap:
I can
I can move mountains and turn the sea
I can
I can do anything when I believe
I can
Even when the devil puts me down
Ican
I can do anything and not just frown

A long time ago
I hid my face
But with nothing much ado
I knew my place
I felt I had this great talent that should fill the space
What I just did was to join the pace
You can
You can do anything even when you face difficulties
Things might happen to you with a lot of probabilities
But what you can do is to pray like Moses
And before you know it you will surely find Justice.

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
Yeah! Yeah!
I can do anything, anything.
Really really good you put a lot of feeling and effort into it. Its a great song with a goodbeat and great rhyming well done. :popcorn
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Old 09-25-2014, 09:40 PM View Post #7 (Link) Critiques
Ronning C (Offline)
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 4
Points: 2.97
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Originally Posted by Fawole Phoebe View Post
It's been long since I've posted anything other than critiques. I'm not sure about these lyrics but lease critique nicely.

Verse 1:
People come, people go
See me run as I flow
And a a a and

You can see that I'm me and
I really like the way I am oh! Oh

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
Yeah! Yeah!
I can do anything, anything


Verse 2:
The sky is very bright
And I can do what is right
For
When I pray to my God
I believe he is my guard

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
I can do anything, anything

Rap:
I can
I can move mountains and turn the sea
I can
I can do anything when I believe
I can
Even when the devil puts me down
Ican
I can do anything and not just frown

A long time ago
I hid my face
But with nothing much ado
I knew my place
I felt I had this great talent that should fill the space
What I just did was to join the pace
You can
You can do anything even when you face difficulties
Things might happen to you with a lot of probabilities
But what you can do is to pray like Moses
And before you know it you will surely find Justice.

Chorus;
I believe I can sing
And I can do anything
If I just put my heart and God to it
Yeah! Yeah!
I can do anything, anything.
Very excellent lyrics, but I feel like the message the lyrics are trying to convey needs to be more powerful. Maybe you can make comparisons to God and something else that people can relate to? I'm a religious person, but not everyone believes in God. You should try to make the lyrics relatable to a variety of people. Also, you don't have to rhyme every single stanza of the song. After a while rhyming gets stale and makes certain listeners loose interest in the lyrics.

Again, very nice lyrics. Keep it up!
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Old 07-17-2015, 03:38 PM View Post #8 (Link)
EdwinTan (Offline)
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 6
Points: 7.82
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This is so good song,
I hope you will put melody there soon so your lyrics will be masterpiece song
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Old 08-07-2015, 08:08 PM View Post #9 (Link)
horselover913 (Offline)
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Location: USA
Posts: 56
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You did faztabulous! I sang it to myself in the shower, everyone knows it's fun to sing in the shower, and it sounded great! When your singing it you can feel the emotion and heart you put into it. I don't get the theme to the song they'll. Maybe you should go through it and try to understand what I'm talking about. Other than that I thought it was great! You have talent.
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Old 08-14-2015, 08:00 PM View Post #10 (Link)
Nneoma Udoyeh (Offline)
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 32
Points: 15.82
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The wording is great and I love ❤ the message. It is very inspiring and I know you have passion and hope in you just by listening to that song �� and I can tell you really can
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