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Old 08-11-2018, 04:15 PM View Post #1 (Link) Pages of places
spacesandpaces (Offline)
Novice Writer
 
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: LAND OF FAR FAR AWAY
Posts: 17
Points: 4.74
Times Thanked: 3
[CENTER]Stars that fall, moons that sing,
People and places, the string that drops,
Joys and graces, the film that glides,
Rich and poor, the souls that moan,
For better for worse, the lies that breath,
Summer and winter, the wheel that turns,
Lightning and thunder, the wrangle that never ends,
June and September, the sizzling sky,

It’s always in time

Seas whisper to oceans, the staff will roar,
Sand dunes and wind wars, the uproar of gods,
Culture repudiates to traditions, the tales of old,
Dates to years reveal the sands of time,
Scars hang onto battles, keep wolves at bay,
Diamond and emeralds talk of hearts untold,
Faces and shadows of darkness, converse as rivers flow.

Truth of what ails

Pages of places, what won't he write,
Lady, what won’t he do?
He will possess that you will not see.
He will be king of emperors and reign on high,
Brave heart my dear,
You can still be him
For it’s just pages of places
WRITE YOUR OWN
  
						Last edited by spacesandpaces; 08-13-2018 at 06:26 AM.
					
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Old 08-12-2018, 06:40 PM View Post #2 (Link)
luna1111 (Offline)
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Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 4
Points: 2.07
Times Thanked: 1
I'm a new member and not the greatest writer, so I can't pick on much.

This is such a beautiful poem. I love the imagery.

There's two little details that could use some fixing:

This is Summer and winter, the wheels that turns, (I think you mean "the wheels that turn", since it makes more grammatical sense)
Pages of places, what wont (you missed the appostraphe in "won't") he writes, ("writes" should be singular "write")
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