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Old 12-11-2013, 09:32 PM View Post #11 (Link)
Rachael (Offline)
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Lets make it just plain verses. Cause when you plan out a chorus theres something in depth behind it, and its more of a planned thing.
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Old 12-13-2013, 12:47 AM View Post #12 (Link)
PinkWriter88 (Offline)
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Your smiles bury your heart,
and your guilt beats in the dark.
Like the walls that come crashing down
I know that you'll always be around.

Loyality has been stained black,
and now your picking up your sack
running to your own fate,
while you scratch me off your slate.

You were there
Yeah you surrounded me
Its no fair
You moved on without me
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Old 12-13-2013, 01:10 AM View Post #13 (Link)
Rachael (Offline)
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Your smiles bury your heart,
and your guilt beats in the dark.
Like the walls that come crashing down
I know that you'll always be around.

Loyality has been stained black,
and now your picking up your sack
running to your own fate,
while you scratch me off your slate.

You were there
Yeah you surrounded me
Its no fair
You moved on without me

What are you feeling inside,
now that I blew your rooftop,
and you haven't a thing to hide.

You have silver lined dreams,
of tearing me apart.
And now I get what it means
to have a empty heart
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Old 12-13-2013, 01:13 AM View Post #14 (Link)
PinkWriter88 (Offline)
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I say thats good content. Ummm, would you say that is 2 verses worth? I think we need a chorus to put between the 2 verses if you would like. Of course this is your song more than mine so tell me if you had in mind one of the parts being chorus already.
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Old 12-13-2013, 01:29 AM View Post #15 (Link)
Rachael (Offline)
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Haha thanks! Yah, your definitly right. We need a Chorus indeed. I don't know how to really begin on that one. Firstly what is the name of the song, can you think of something? I'm sure your good with titles
Oh, and this song can be quite general actually for both boys and girls. Because boys have problems with girls, and the oppisite as well. So if you've had a situation, you could relate to this if you had to. I hope I'm not taking to much control over this. Its actually my first time co-writing lyrics with someone, which makes it extra fun and exciting. But I'm used to making every lyric up by myself, so that may be the reason if I tend to control the song a bit.
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