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Old 01-25-2014, 07:37 PM View Post #1 (Link) Idea for a story
EBethy34 (Offline)
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This isn't really a story, just an idea. I would like feedback on it. Please tell me if you think this would be a good story!

Fake

Fake name. Fake address. Fake identity
Is there anything real about Lisa Farthings?

Lisa Farthings has had 5 different names: Abbie Jackson, Stella Hanson, Jessica Sterling, Hannah Snow, and now Whitney Perst. She and her mother have been on the run for 10 years, running from something which Lisa has no idea. Her father died 10 years ago, on the night of her fifth birthday, and ever since then she has been on the run. She has been across the country, from Sacramento, California, to Columbia, Maryland. She is certain that her mother will decide to settle down in Detroit, Michigan, under the names Sarah (her mother) and Amber Jones (Lisa). She is terribly correct. Her mother suddenly disappears, leaving Lisa on her own. She left a trail of clues, each one leading Lisa one step closer to unraveling the mystery behind her father's sudden death and her mother's disappearance.
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Old 01-25-2014, 08:06 PM View Post #2 (Link)
Derezzination (Offline)
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If you write it for me, then I'll let you know.
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Old 01-25-2014, 11:34 PM View Post #3 (Link)
Isis (Offline)
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It's really hard to tell from a breakdown like this if the story would work, and that's because it's hard to tell if a story will be "good" just from the synopsis. I can tell if the genre seems like it might be interesting to me, and sometimes I can tell a little bit about the writing style from a synopsis, but that's it. Basically, there's no way to tell from a blurb like this if a story will be good - just whether it's up my own alley or not. For instance, I'd be way more inclined to read a story with particular genres or particular focuses. But that doesn't mean that other genres aren't good - just that they're not my go-to when I pick up a book.

I think you can start to see why you're not getting the response you want from me or from Derezzination. I'm sure you want to hear "it's good! Go for it!". Instead, I'm going to tell you: "I have no way of knowing, nor do I care yet! Go for it!". An idea isn't a story. It's just a starting place. The only way to find out if the idea will take you somewhere worthwhile and turn into something people want to read is if you write it. The story will become good not because it's got some concept or plot that's never been done before. The story can become good because your characters are relatable and interesting, their trials and tribulations intrigue us, and the writing makes us go to a new place.

I take it you're pretty new to writing, yeah? Like you've been writing for a few years? I feel like you're still learning, and that's a good thing, because it means you've got tons of freedom to just try whatever and see what works out. It's part of the learning process. Write what you want to write and what seems interesting to you. If it intrigues you and you work at it, chances are it could intrigue a reader.

I also think you should read Infinity_Man's excellent guide on Is your idea worth continuing?. It explains what I'm trying to, only way better.
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Old 01-26-2014, 10:11 PM View Post #4 (Link)
spillingink (Offline)
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Originally Posted by EBethy34 View Post
This isn't really a story, just an idea. I would like feedback on it. Please tell me if you think this would be a good story!

Fake

Fake name. Fake address. Fake identity
Is there anything real about Lisa Farthings?

Lisa Farthings has had 5 different names: Abbie Jackson, Stella Hanson, Jessica Sterling, Hannah Snow, and now Whitney Perst. She and her mother have been on the run for 10 years, running from something which Lisa has no idea. Her father died 10 years ago, on the night of her fifth birthday, and ever since then she has been on the run. She has been across the country, from Sacramento, California, to Columbia, Maryland. She is certain that her mother will decide to settle down in Detroit, Michigan, under the names Sarah (her mother) and Amber Jones (Lisa). She is terribly correct. Her mother suddenly disappears, leaving Lisa on her own. She left a trail of clues, each one leading Lisa one step closer to unraveling the mystery behind her father's sudden death and her mother's disappearance.
Wow. This sounds amazing, though I feel like I have heard this before. I sounds like a blurb. Maybe add a few details and pointers about her dad here. She's in Detroit now, right? You should add a prologue at the beginning of the story. I think that will be great. Good luck, I can't wait to read this. (Maybe change the idea up a bit, though.)
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Old 01-27-2014, 03:11 PM View Post #5 (Link)
MessyEssie (Offline)
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The idea feels very familiar. What you've got so far is good, but you should plan it out more so it feels more fresh. Other than that, I can't wait to read it!
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Old 04-15-2014, 05:09 PM View Post #6 (Link)
Arjab (Offline)
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Wow ! I like the whole idea of the story. Unraveling the mystery behind father's sudden death and mother's disappearance. Changing her name every time she moves to a new place.

Moreover, the idea of her not knowing anything and just running is (personally for me) good.
Later in the story you can bring up some different characters who will help her in her journey. I guess it would be epic if you can bring in some unnatural things. For instance, you could bring in some mystical powers in her, and a main villain who has some unique power. This is one way to go about it.

You may also go on with some detective kind of thingy ! I mean in the sense that she finds someone who is uniquely intelligent on matters of crime. He helps her to find her disappeared mother and ultimately they find her and the reason behind her father's death. Moreover, the ending can be made unique with a hallucination of her seeing her father.

I hope it helps !
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Old 12-09-2014, 03:44 AM View Post #7 (Link)
fredgomes (Offline)
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Nice thread
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