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Old 02-04-2018, 10:50 PM View Post #11 (Link)
Keirarser (Offline)
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:50 PM View Post #12 (Link)
Keirarser (Offline)
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:51 PM View Post #13 (Link)
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:51 PM View Post #14 (Link)
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:51 PM View Post #15 (Link)
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:52 PM View Post #16 (Link)
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:52 PM View Post #17 (Link)
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:52 PM View Post #18 (Link)
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:53 PM View Post #19 (Link)
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Old 02-06-2018, 04:52 PM View Post #20 (Link) This is the first story I m critiquing.
Aftab (Offline)
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The story is quite good, but I think it would have been more attractive if the title would have been like the below one.

March 15th, 2016. The day, the sun died.

Of course, I remember the date. Wouldn't you? After years of being there, it suddenly left.( instead of using left, I would use 'It suddenly vanished'.) There was no warning. Just vanished.
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