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Old 02-08-2016, 06:33 PM View Post #1 (Link) Apologise
rainbowroadkill (Offline)
Literary Newbie
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 5
Points: 3.11
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It's sort of an alternative acoustic sound with gothic influence. I hope someone vaguely enjoys it!

I apologise
But I'm the only one who knows quite what I've
Done
And I'm the only one who sees what I've
Become

I apologise
For all the words I pulled out of your
Mouth
And all the secrets I forced you to spill
Out
Never again

Oh, I apologise
For every single moment I've acted a bit
Cold
And for every idiot f**king little lie I've
Told

Well I promise not to hurt you
But I can't promise to love you any more
But I still do

Cos you're standing there
With your dark-dyed hair
How could I resist
The pull of my heart?
When everything's so dark
And I can't accept the answer but I still
Ask the question

Well I'm sorry
I ever tried to ask you for
Advice
Or when I tried to hold you in my arms
I shake

I'm sorry
For breaking the most expensive and fragile
Things
Like my mind and my heart and my soul and I cannot
Begin
Oh

I'm sorry
For ruining my emotions and your
Life

It's all that I can do
To stop myself from hurting you
Unsure why, but I
I still do

Cos you're standing there
With your dark-dyed hair
How could I resist
The pull of my heart?
When everything's so dark
And I can't accept the answer but I still
Ask the question
Oh

I apologise for ever being born
And I apologise for growing up into such an awful mess
I will apologise for turning into myself

I apologise
For falling
In love
With you and my hatred

I apologise
For being alive
I apologise.
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Old 03-04-2016, 08:29 PM View Post #2 (Link)
AnastisiaRae (Offline)
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 3
Points: 7.22
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I really enjoyed this! I could feel pain and genuine sorrow as I read this. I could picture a man or woman telling their significant other this with a look of pain and possibly embarrassment on their face, I could hear the passion in the voice.
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Old 03-05-2016, 05:05 AM View Post #3 (Link)
S.J. Barnesington (Offline)
Abstract Thinker
 
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Location: Somewhere in the world
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Overall, you did a really good job writing this song. As I read it, I could feel the pain that the main character was feeling. My heart ached once I read "Well I promise not to hurt you But I can't promise to love you any more But I still do." However, I would personally remove the word "idiot" from when you say "And for every idiot f**king little lie I've Told." In my opinion, having the word "idiot" placed there breaks the flow. But other than that, wonderful song!
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Old 04-14-2016, 06:19 PM View Post #4 (Link)
MYAnna_M (Offline)
Idea Scribe
 
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Location: In a land far, far away
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Originally Posted by rainbowroadkill View Post

Oh, I apologise
For every single moment I've acted a bit
Cold
And for every idiot f**king little lie I've
Told
...
Cos you're standing there
With your dark-dyed hair
How could I resist
The pull of my heart?
When everything's so dark
And I can't accept the answer but I still
Ask the question
I think in Line 2, did you mean "idiotic" instead of idiot?
__________________
"A writer is simply a photographer of thoughts"
"You can't use up creativity - the more you use, the more you have" -
Maya Angelou
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Old 05-29-2016, 05:27 PM View Post #5 (Link)
cash papa (Offline)
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Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 3
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I really hope I could listen to this song in case you had a tune.
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