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Old 01-24-2018, 02:29 AM View Post #7 (Link) More Vibrant Description?
goodusername (Offline)
Literary Newbie
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: The United States
Posts: 5
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Disclaimer: I totally find your story to be good and am excited to read the Chapter 2 you have posted. However, I think you can add some things.

The primary thing I thought of when reading this is what kind of forest it was: "Does it have pines or birch? Is it a rainforest? Are there bushes and foliage on the ground? Is your character, Matthew, afraid of the woods?" Those questions could influence how your story is perceived.

Consider adding something to this avail:
"Suddenly, my eyes jumped from the bird up to an ominous that filled the trees. A gust of wind shook the boney aspen trees and created a flutter of leaves above my head. I took a step backward and my ankle collided with a small bush. That was when I found the culprit that had made the noise...."
I think you get the point.

Otherwise, you're doing pretty well.
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