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Old 08-20-2017, 02:55 AM View Post #2 (Link)
SerialLove (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Ishaan View Post
There are so many things for me to see
Near the ocean, near the sea. Near should be lowercased.
The south American forests 'South' needs to be capitalized.
The Mexican heritage sites, the Masai mara tribe I'm pretty sure the underlined words should all start with capital letters since it's the name of the tribe.
and the clean roads of Spain are easy to ride Add punctuation here.
The Alaskan pines , the stunning Himalayan hue
and all the local people to interview.
The serene Odisha Either add a comma or a hyphen here. the valley of flowers
And all the scenic places on the world lowercase the beginning of this line.
Which have a panoramic view! Lowercase the beginning of this line.
Ok, so for the most part, this was a pretty boring piece. I really think you should add a little more imagery, it's nice to actually know what you're talking about, but it's a little less nice when all we're reading is a list. There's nothing here for us [your readers] to really hold onto. For instance, what does the South American forest actually look like? Or the valley of flowers? What flowers are there, what are their colors? Give your readers more imagery. Other then that, good luck and continue writing. If you have any questions feel free to ask.
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