Thread: I am a soldier.
View Single Post
Old 02-27-2017, 10:35 PM View Post #2 (Link) Just a little review...
Skylnn-writes (Offline)
Literary Newbie
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 2
Points: 4.15
Times Thanked: 0
Hey! The title of this story caught my attention so I thought I'd read it and give you my opinion.

First off, I would like to say that it was a very well written story. I just wanted to point out a couple of things that caught my attention as I was reading.

"where the enemy fall in your path" you should probably switch enemy to enemies.

"I was battling a young man, I had nothing against killing the enemy, but this lad was only a boy." After young man, change the comma to a semicolon or a period so it isn't a run-on sentence.

"This field holds the bodies of many a hopeful young man." This sentence seemed a little awkward to me with the a hopeful young man.

That is all I have to say about this wonderful story. I really liked the way you ended the character's life. It was neither abrupt nor blunt, and you led in to it very nicely.

I hope my review is helpful when you are editing this
  Reply With Quote