Thread: Free to fall
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Old 11-27-2015, 06:14 AM View Post #4 (Link) Love your song!
writingforlife (Offline)
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Well, this may be late, but I read your lyrics and thought it was really interesting. but there could be some changes made.

But, first of all, I REALLY love the meaning of this song, Free to fall. I love the fact that it’s encouraging people to do what they love, that they’re free to fall for anything. People should do what they love no matter the “noise” or what people say they should do. I feel that I can really relate to this song I’m not sure if this is the message of the song, but this is just my interpretation...

Well, now here’s my suggestions:

The video is on
The radio is set
Everybody come out to hear my voice

I don’t think that the first phrase is very catchy for me. “The video is on” and “The radio is set” don’t really have a huge purpose in the meaning of the song. I suggest for you to change it to something like:

I hear whispers in my head
people said to stay
No, I’m ready to show the world my voice

That’s just how I would start the song…not sure if this would change your original meaning of the song though…

There is a willingness in me
To show I'm free
Free to do what I can over the noise

I like how voice and noise rhymes together. Just wanted to point it out. Well, for the second phrase, I think it’s already perfect like this.

CHORUS: just scream it
I can do it all
And shout it
YE ----IYE----IYE---IYE
I'm free to fall

I think that the YE—IYE part is already perfect. I can picture myself singing this haha.

Bridge: fall for the music
fall for the drumset
fall for the drumstick
even when it's sunset

For the bridge, I’m not sure about the part where you said “fall for the drumstick even when it’s sunset.” It doesn’t make sense to me because why is falling for the drumstick when it’s sunset a problem? I suggest something like a contrast:

fall for the night sky
even when it’s sunset

The meaning of this is even though the night sky is not “here” (because it is still sunset), you are still free to fall for something that is not there yet, like dreams, goals, etc.

Overall, I would rate this song an 9/10. Great job! You should keep on writing lyrics, and I would love to hear more from you.
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