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Old 03-19-2014, 01:57 PM View Post #8 (Link)
Keladry (Offline)
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Dreamland
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I wish I couldn’t swim.
I’d fall into the water and terror would grip me.
I’d break through the surface easy and dig down deep,
further than I’d ever meant to go and the water
would surround me, not the seductive siren’s arms
but the roar of her temper, pounding in my ears.

I wish I could choke
and my tears would go unnoticed, dissolved
into the sea until finally I floated,
pallid face and still. More silent than I ever was in life.
A poetic, peaceful end to the suffering.

Except I do know how to swim,
and rather than diving deep I hide in my boat
and skip across the surface.
I hold my breath in mimic now, to imagine how it feels.
Would the water invade your skin, I wonder?
crawl into your lungs? Or is it more a case of fighting it,
weary muscles still pulling toward the light. Or maybe
it’s about the sense of hope that never comes
and leaves you to flail at the darkness instead.

I force myself to inhale bathwater but
I cough it out before it works, and anyway
it’s not the same. I’m still afraid to drown.
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