Worst Sci-Fi/Fantasy?

[Andy]

I dare anyone to read the first page of this with a straight face. :D

http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/SF-Archives/Misc/eyeargon.html

[Carraka]

I failed. Miserably. Still, since I plan on going to conventions, maybe I should practice.

"With a loud crack the rodents head parted from its squirming torso, sending out a sprinking shower of crimson gore, and trailing a slimy string of disjointed vertebrae, snapped trachea, esophagus, and jugular, disjointed hyoid bone, morose purpled stretched hide, and blood seared muscles."

What literature! What humanity!

[Shaun]

I stopped reading after the first two sentences.

[Carraka]

Awww, but you can expand your vocabulary! Example:


"Aye; I was at one time a slave of prince Agaphim. His clammy touch sent a sour swill through my belly, but my efforts reaped a harvest. I gained the pig's liking whereby he allowed me the freedom of the palace. It was through this means that I eventually managed escape at the western gate. His trust found him with a dagger thrust his ribs," the wench stated whimsicoracally.

Whimsicoracally! It's so long and beautiful and complicated-looking! Impressive, eh?

Are we supposed to find more horrible stories and post them here?

[Imelda]

Isis posted that on TW ages ago. I got bored after half a page ...

[Carraka]

You all are starting to scare me. What does it mean to be able to read The Eye of Argon all the way through? Is there something wrong with me?

[Rafael Domination]

Actually, the font was to small. I picked off a few parts, but I held like a rock.

Do I get any points? :crazy:

[Dr_House_4ever]

Read entire thing...in one sitting.

*knees wobble*

Argh...horrible fantasy...has beaten me...no...sarcastic comments...left.

*coughs up blood*

Tell Raffy and Alex...I love them...

*thud*

[Linds.xo]

I read like three sentences, got confused:confused: then I closed it before I killed my brain from extreme confusion... ^^

[Andy]

I must admit, even Eragon is better than this.

This makes me want to write a scene with my brave characters angrily slashing their metal swords through the chilly night, etc. :D