The Coddling Continues

[Shaun]

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/01/education/01lunch.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Anyone here experience this? If so, why does it bother you so much? It's free food.

By the way, I was on these subsidized food things. Never had this stupid problem. I think this has a lot to do with our coddling children and making thing far too sensitive to crap that really shouldn't bother them. Here's an example list of things that should bug a kid:

--Murder
--Rape
--Genocide
--War
--Brutal Violence
--Racial Discrimination

and a list of things that shouldn't bother these kids, but for some reason does:

--Drinking Soda
--Eating Federally Subsidized Food (which, mind you, is better than a lot of people in the U.S., or the world for that matter, are given every day)
--Whether you have nice shoes.
--Whether you're as skinny as Paris Hilton
--Eating Potato Chips
--P.E.

Yeah, get over it. Enjoy the free food. Stop taking away sodas and crap from kids who should have every right to eat and drink whatever their parents tell them they can (provided it's not poison, and no, soda isn't poison...it's candy...and it tastes good). And stop babying kids. Good lord. Life is hard enough as it is in high school and it only gets worse when you're out of high school and worse still when you graduate college. Raising a bunch of whining little babies really isn't helping anyone.

Then again, maybe I just have an entirely different perspective since I was raised as one of these whiny little babies and got sick and tired of being scared and sad and depressed over stupid crap.

Life is too short to spend worrying about whether Bob thinks you're a lose cause you eat free food.

[Quietus]

Oh my gord.... Technically, I get this. Granted, it's not fully free, but I eat at a redueced price. Back in elementary and middle school, I did get free lunches. Do I feel like these kids mentioned? Hecks no, I get me some 40 cent meal! (If you can call it a meal). People are just stupid and need something to complain about. I mean seriously now, it's a freaking free meal! Get over yourself and freaking eat! Conflabed kids;)

[Shaun]

Glad I'm not the only one that thinks this way :P

[jordanisonfire]

Well, I agree with you both that we should stop protecting our kids and let them see the suffering in the world. Of course, some kids don't give a shit about the world being consumed by global warming or wars being thought over nothing, they're more concerned about the things Shaun said. And, if we actually stopped coddling them, then they might actually give a damn about these issues. I am not against war, however, because I think, as animals ourselves, it's only natural that we will fight over territory and to see who is the stronger one, but I will take sides with wars. I have no side in this current major Iraq war, seeing as both sides seem to be idiots. Anyway, I'm getting side-tracked, yeah, I've been brought up as one of those kids that was coddled, but I saved myself from being a whiney kid by going on the internet and researching stuff. I actually take an interest in brutal violence and horror 'cos I think blood and death is awesome (not actually causing it myself and not through self-harm, by the way, only in fiction :D). This wouldn't have happened if I'd not researched stuff. But some kids would rather research what's going on in a clothing store or go on stupid pornography sites 'cos they're sex-hungry morons.
OK, end of rant, end of parroting what Shaun said.

[Imelda]

Actually I think they're right. It's not necessarily about being 'cool', it's that poverty has a stigma attached to it and it really isn't a nice one. I went to a school in a very deprived area and a lot of kids were on free school meals. Know what we did? We had a card system, so you went and put money on your card at a machine, and then you paid with the card in the queue. If you had free meals no one need ever know you didn't put money on your card.

It was also handy because you could put in entire week's money on the card, and only you could use it, so bullies couldn't steal your lunch money. :p

Having said that, if you're hanging out with people who look down on you cos you're poor, then you need better friends ...

[Shaun]

I'm fully against it, Imelda. There's a lesson to be learned from living as a poor person and not hiding that. If you're not willing to learn that lesson then you are going to fail in life. You can't coddle these children, because when they grow up they are going to expect authority to coddle them some more, and the government isn't supposed to do that.
This is part of growing up.

[jordanisonfire]

Yeah, if we didn't have government and the world were in anarchy, then it would be best to let our children see the horrors of this world so they would be prepared. And even in this state of government, we still need that.

[Shaun]

We need these kids to be raised in a realistic world, not an idealistic world. We can't give them the perfect experience in school and expect them to be even remotely prepared for real life. Coddled children tend to fail.

[Imelda]

So ... it's ok for them to go to school, be singled out, and get picked on and be utterly miserable?

Kid pounce on kids who are different. There is no need to give them more ammo.

[jordanisonfire]

When was being picked on, singling out and being miserabe mentioned?

[Imelda]

Uh, yeah, apparently I missed that out in my initial post. :p

I've heard of kids who were picked on because they were on free school meals. Or course, they also had hand-me-down clothes and bad haircuts, but still ... they were bullied and it sucked. It's not on just telling these kids to 'suck it up'. I don't know about in the US, but certainly over here it's an issue that needs addressing.

[jordanisonfire]

Um... I thought we were talking about ignoring stuff like free lunches and focusing on much bigger issues?

[Shaun]

Coddling is coddling is coddling. End of story. If you want to put everyone on the exact same field then you're teaching none of them anything at all. If everyone gets everything at all the right times and we tell them not to tease each other and to be nice, then these kids will learn nothing about what the real world is like. In the real world there is no magic button to turn off teasing or the darker sides of life. Life is hard. They need to learn that early. They're better off for it. So yes, I am all for having them get teased for getting free food. If people are so petty has to tease other people for not having the luxury of money, then let them, and when those poor kids grow up they can make the choice to do something about it, or become like the people they have been told they are. Being poor is not necessarily a choice. You can't choose how your parents end up, but you can choose what happens to you when you graduate High School or whatever it is in other countries. You can do nothing with your life and have everything handed to you on a silver platter, or you can get good grades and go to college or get into a trade or something like that. This is the real world and there's no time for us to be raising pansy children. Poor people who are subjected to the natural pecking order and learn to take it end up stronger. Like me. I was raised on welfare and food stamps...it bugged me too and I'm sure I would have loved to have a little debit card or tokens or whatever, but I know now that I'm better off for having been dealt the crap hand because it taught me a lot of things about the world that I wasn't going to learn from my mother.

[Imelda]

Well I have to disagree. I, luckily, wasn't poor back then, and I didn't have to take the rap for being poor, but I was teased and bullied in other ways. In order to cope I hardened myself ... and pretty much became a bitch, which is something that I'm only really just bouncing back from. I was not an asset to this world, and I didn't react in a good way to things. Luckily I had good influences after that, but most people didn't. I have watched that place go downhill because of the endless circle of viciousness. Anything that can break that, and perhaps get this world pulled back out of its downward spiral is a good thing in my book.

Or, instead of 'coddling' we could take a harsher line in punishment and actually make those bullies feel bad about what they're doing. Instead of telling the bullee to 'stay away from them'. Yeah that works when they're following you ...

[Shaun]

Woah woah, see, you're talking about viciousness, not standard teasing. There's a huge different between what I'm talking about and what you're talking about. Teasing is natural within the order of youngins. It has to be there. To get rid of that is detrimental to the health of the world at large. However, there is a line between what is acceptable teasing and cruel. I know what cruel is, I've dealt with it. There was a kid at my middle school (6-8 grades, or around 10-14, depending) who used to try to punch me with a ring covered in metal spikes. I used to wear sweatpants to school every day because I would get teased and made fun of in the locker room by this kid...until the coach for the class forced me. I'm lucky my best friend, who at the time was 5 times bigger than I was (I was a runt) was there to defend me...otherwise I'd probably go home all bruised up.
That's cruelty. I'm talking about regular teasing here. "haha, you're poor". I'm not talking about violence or vicious teasing. The violence should be stopped, because that's not a part of daily life. You don't want down the street as an adult and have someone just start pounding on you (unless you live in gang-filled areas or similar). You don't have people running around spreading hatred about you everywhere (for the most part), but teasing? That happens every day. I tease my best friend all the time. He teases right back. I learned that from being teased and I'm the better for it (granted, I went through a lot of crap, but I got lucky that my last year and a half of high school was at a school where I wasn't treated like crap...so some of those bad effects wore off and some didn't...as some of you probably know already :P). Teasing is NORMAL. You learn from it. You learn that life isn't just bubbles and flowers and happy crap. There will be people out there who will cut you down and make fun of your position.

Does that all make sense?

[Imelda]

Yes it makes sense, but there are levels of teasing. I was never physically bullied, but people totally underestimate the effect of mental bullying. Since moving out into the adult world I haven't once come across the kind of stuff I experienced at school. I've felt intimidated, stupid, embarrassed, all things that school prepared me for--in class. Yes, the world is brutal, but not half as brutal as bullies.

And friendly teasing is a WHOLE different ballgame. One of my best friends calls me bimbo. She's the only person in the world allowed to do that without getting a lecture on blonde rights. It's affectionate, and it doesn't make you feel like you want to die. Life, and school, is hard enough without giving bullies more ammo.

[jordanisonfire]

Well, I look at it this way: if you're being teased or bullied or any other shit, don't go to a parent or teacher, 'cos that makes you dependant. Fight your own battles. If someone mentally abuses me, I come back with a whole load of retorts that sometimes leaves them crying, but I don't feel any regret later. If someone physically abuses me, I fight back, I either get beaten up or rip the damn assholes throat out. And I'm glad I do that. If I go tell, I'd get picked on more. If they have nothing better to do than to abuse me, then they have a sad life, and I show them that. You can call me cruel or whatever you want, but I don't care.

[Imelda]

Yeah, so the bullying just incites a circle of nasty behaviour. It sucks. BRING BACK THE CANE!