HEEEEELP! (Plz.)

[Iridescence]

For the sake of all that's partially hydrogenated, help.

I'm writing a story for class tomorrow, and I can't come up with the CLIMAX.

I'll give you a brief over-view:

A girl discovers a naked child in a geyser on top of a hill outside her town. The child is "born" from a strange plume of red and gold smoke that takes the shape of an enormous mystical bird (*overbearinghintcoughcough*). She brings the child to her home, where it stays for an unspecified amount of time (a couple of months, though the passage of time is obviously abbreviated in the story). While the girl is at school, the child wanders through the town and heals people that have injured themselves by crying over their wounds. Its tears heal the wounds and make them disappear completely. The girl, who is an introvert and does not get along well with the other children, has a crush on a boy who has a lot of friends and is easy to get along with. It is not until she goes to the playground to show the child to the other children that she is able to talk with him, though. The other children sneer at her, but the boy doesn't. Over the next few weeks she is able to crawl slowly out of her shell, though the child does not like how much she likes the boy, and because of this it shows anger for the first time. This frightens the girl, who begins to avoid it whenever possible (it stays in her room while she sleeps downstairs). One very rainy day the girl is invited to another girl's party (at the insistence of the girl's crush, of course). The night of the party, however, all of the people that were healed by the child's tears feel the places where their wounds used to be begin to burn terribly, as if the blood beneath them is boiling. The mother at the birthday girl's party, who was healed by the child, begins screaming and carrying on. The main girl (none of these characters have names) runs out of the house and sees the child standing there in the rain. The girl knows that the child is the cause of the mother's pain, and tells it that she will go home with it if it stops the pain. The boy (her crush) runs out with her, too, to see what's going on.

That's where I'm stuck. See, the main theme of this story is supposed to be growing up, the loss of innocence, the beginning of adolescence, etc etc. The child is supposed to represent childhood and innocence, but obviously in a negative light. The girl is supposed to choose growing up and becoming more social over remaining a "child" forever (symbolically). So how can I solve this problem? I want it to be a symbolic solution, and I want her crush to be involved in it somehow. Also, the girl has a wound that was healed by the child, and which the child can make burn, if it wishes. But I haven't decided whether or not the child should inflict pain on the girl. What do you think? How can I end this both physically (the child is supposed to crumble into ashes) and symboically (it shows the end of the girl's childhood and the beginning of adolescence)?

I'm sorry this is so long and rambling, but please, please, please, I could really use some help with this. If you're confused about anything, ask and I'll clarify. I don't care if you think your suggestion is out-there -- any ideas will help.

THANK YOU. <333

[Clarissa]

For the sake of all that's partially hydrogenated, help.

I'm writing a story for class tomorrow, and I can't come up with the CLIMAX.

I'll give you a brief over-view:

A girl discovers a naked child in a geyser on top of a hill outside her town. The child is "born" from a strange plume of red and gold smoke that takes the shape of an enormous mystical bird (*overbearinghintcoughcough*). She brings the child to her home, where it stays for an unspecified amount of time (a couple of months, though the passage of time is obviously abbreviated in the story). While the girl is at school, the child wanders through the town and heals people that have injured themselves by crying over their wounds. Its tears heal the wounds and make them disappear completely. The girl, who is an introvert and does not get along well with the other children, has a crush on a boy who has a lot of friends and is easy to get along with. It is not until she goes to the playground to show the child to the other children that she is able to talk with him, though. The other children sneer at her, but the boy doesn't. Over the next few weeks she is able to crawl slowly out of her shell, though the child does not like how much she likes the boy, and because of this it shows anger for the first time. This frightens the girl, who begins to avoid it whenever possible (it stays in her room while she sleeps downstairs). One very rainy day the girl is invited to another girl's party (at the insistence of the girl's crush, of course). The night of the party, however, all of the people that were healed by the child's tears feel the places where their wounds used to be begin to burn terribly, as if the blood beneath them is boiling. The mother at the birthday girl's party, who was healed by the child, begins screaming and carrying on. The main girl (none of these characters have names) runs out of the house and sees the child standing there in the rain. The girl knows that the child is the cause of the mother's pain, and tells it that she will go home with it if it stops the pain. The boy (her crush) runs out with her, too, to see what's going on.

First of all, awesome. I want to read it. Post it here, pwease?

That's where I'm stuck. See, the main theme of this story is supposed to be growing up, the loss of innocence, the beginning of adolescence, etc etc. The child is supposed to represent childhood and innocence, but obviously in a negative light. The girl is supposed to choose growing up and becoming more social over remaining a "child" forever (symbolically). So how can I solve this problem? I want it to be a symbolic solution, and I want her crush to be involved in it somehow. Also, the girl has a wound that was healed by the child, and which the child can make burn, if it wishes. But I haven't decided whether or not the child should inflict pain on the girl. What do you think? How can I end this both physically (the child is supposed to crumble into ashes) and symboically (it shows the end of the girl's childhood and the beginning of adolescence)?

I'm sorry this is so long and rambling, but please, please, please, I could really use some help with this. If you're confused about anything, ask and I'll clarify. I don't care if you think your suggestion is out-there -- any ideas will help.

THANK YOU. <333

Okayy. I'm awful at ideas and stuff, so seriously, ignore the rambling. Also, I'm using this as an excuse not to do any more physics, so it may seem more rambling than usual.

I suppose you could have the main girl order the child to leave - that way she's actively renouncing her childhood, literally telling it to "Go", and once those words have left her lips, the child crumbles into ashes, as though only waiting for her to say the command and begin her adolescence, at which point you could have the crush help the main girl up from the ground where she's crying over the ashes (I'd imagine losing your childhood is painful for anyone, despite the pain the childhood inflicts).

The way I'd do it is:

Main girl goes outside where child is waiting for her.
Wound begins to burn/boil (however you described it) when the crush comes outside looking worried.
Main girl screams at the child to leave her alone
Child crumbles into ashes, wounds stop hurting (though it might be nice if it gave her a scar not unlike a permanent love bite or something, because memories of childhood are never forgotten, although childhood is left behind)
Girl kneels by ashes, feeling a grief she can't quite understand (loss of innocence and childhood)
Boy comes over and helps her up by the hand - she takes his hand, symbolising her willingness to begin life as a teenager, and smiles at him. They go back inside.
Taaadaaa. That's just the way I'd do it. I realise that's more than a little melodramatic, but it's packed full of symbols.

Hope I helped a little bit. Obviously, feel free to ignore everything I've said (more than once).

[Iridescence]

Okayy. I'm awful at ideas and stuff, so seriously, ignore the rambling. Also, I'm using this as an excuse not to do any more physics, so it may seem more rambling than usual.

I suppose you could have the main girl order the child to leave - that way she's actively renouncing her childhood, literally telling it to "Go", and once those words have left her lips, the child crumbles into ashes, as though only waiting for her to say the command and begin her adolescence, at which point you could have the crush help the main girl up from the ground where she's crying over the ashes (I'd imagine losing your childhood is painful for anyone, despite the pain the childhood inflicts).

The way I'd do it is:

Main girl goes outside where child is waiting for her.
Wound begins to burn/boil (however you described it) when the crush comes outside looking worried.
Main girl screams at the child to leave her alone
Child crumbles into ashes, wounds stop hurting (though it might be nice if it gave her a scar not unlike a permanent love bite or something, because memories of childhood are never forgotten, although childhood is left behind)
Girl kneels by ashes, feeling a grief she can't quite understand (loss of innocence and childhood)
Boy comes over and helps her up by the hand - she takes his hand, symbolising her willingness to begin life as a teenager, and smiles at him. They go back inside.
Taaadaaa. That's just the way I'd do it. I realise that's more than a little melodramatic, but it's packed full of symbols.

Hope I helped a little bit. Obviously, feel free to ignore everything I've said (more than once).

I LOVE YOU. :D Seriously, though, this is great. Exactly what I need. The symbollism works perfectly. I actually had a thought pattern similar to this, but I hadn't fleshed it out much. I love this idea...

I'm glad you like the premise of the story - I've posted the first two segments of it, if you'd like to read them. :) http://www.youngwritersonline.net/showthread.php?t=6767

Thanks a bunch, Clar!

If anyone else has suggestions, I'd be happy to read them!