Clumsy writing.

[MasterCarlton]

Hey guys, found this while surfing the web.

Thought it might help some of you, it'll help me.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/booknews/6194031/The-Lost-Symbol-and-The-Da-Vinci-Code-author-Dan-Browns-20-worst-sentences.html

[Merc]

It is helpful to remind us to re-read and edit our works, and avoid redundancy and contradiction. My favorite is:

16. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 4: A voice spoke, chillingly close. "Do not move." On his hands and knees, the curator froze, turning his head slowly. Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the mountainous silhouette of his attacker stared through the iron bars. He was broad and tall, with ghost-pale skin and thinning white hair. His irises were pink with dark red pupils. :laugh: