Should we use cows AS an alternative form of transportation?

[midnight-ramble]

So this is a discussion to "prove" how persuasive you are in debate. The idea is that you don't get hung up on which side is obviously the right one, but instead argue for the sake of it, using silly ideas, presented wonderfully to back up your points - a true demonstration of a skilled writer.

So the topic is above, and if you try to pick opposite views so the debate is balanced, that will be great. Be as silly and humourous as possible, and try not to get stuck on one point.

Fun and interesting, anyone feel up for the challenge?

Two points to get you started:

Brilliant - of course cows should be ridden, aside from numerous other benefits it would help keep everyone calmer in traffic. The reason behind this is obvious - the colour red is proven to make people more aggressive, but with cows on the road, red would have to be prohibited to prevent stampeding (cows also hate red) therefore making the road a more relaxed environment.

Rubbish idea, we will all go colour blind! With first red being banned, and then the roads filled with black and white cows (all cows are black and white, look it up!) we will have no need of colour vision and so it will evolve out of the population.

GO!!

[Jack]

I think is it fair to say that you clearly have not correctly weighed up the disadvantages cows as an alternative form of transport have in any busy road system. First of, the transfer from cars to cows will almost certainly not be a smooth one. What is going to talk people in to replacing their fast, comfortable auto mobiles for a tremendously slower and uncomfortable one? I for one am not happy about the idea of being dragged around the streets in the heat of summer or cold, blistering winds of Autumn and Winter on the back of a dirty, stinking animal.

Contrary to popular belief, cows are not enraged by the colour red and are in fact blind of the colours red and green, which will of course make it harder to navigate the roads with the animals stampeding about at their own free will, devoid of the ability to read proper road signs.

There are, of course, an infinite amount of arguments against such an absurd idea, but I thought it would be sporting to allow another member there say before continuing.

[Alex]

There is a misinterpretation of the original purpose of introducing cows as a transport animal. It is never clearly stated that cows would have to become the dominant form of transport (obviously, because of physical limitations they could not replace boats and planes), but merely an alternative option.

While it would be silly to take a drop in comfort from a car to a cow, the incentive comes from the lowered cost of the cow when compared to the car. Some jobs require a quicker commute (one more speedy than the cow is able to provide), but most jobs have a steady commute with long hours of off-duty time which means cow could be a useful way of travel for the decrease in cost. The issue is less with the feasibility of cows as transport, and with our own perception of what we need to stay comfortable. Costs associated with cars such as insurance and maintenence would also be widely reduced when owning a cow.

Also, there is intrinsic value to having a living, breathing cow as your transport mechanism as opposed to a car. Most cars cannot talk and engage their user in conversation, and while cows cannot do this very well either, the fact that they are living beings means that emotional connections can be developed more easily. Regardless of the objective rates at which a cow can travel, if the owner has the perception that they enjoy the cow more, then, for them, the shortcomings of cows as transport animals are easily shrugged off.

So, in recap:
1) Not all people would have to switch to cow
a) for some it would be an upgrade from walking or possibly bicycle
b) for those that do switch there is a noticeable economic benefit

2)Intrinsic value of companionship is an external benefit and therefore cows as transportation should be promoted and subsidized.

[Jack]

There is a misinterpretation of the original purpose of introducing cows as a transport animal. It is never clearly stated that cows would have to become the dominant form of transport (obviously, because of physical limitations they could not replace boats and planes), but merely an alternative option.

Then how do you suppose cows are easily introduced into the streets of major cities? With congestion already being a problem on modern cities roads, I don't see how lumbering beasts of burden in the middle of the streets are going to make things better for drivers. Ever seen cow guts? Well if this idea gets passed off, your going to start seeing a lot more. Oh, and throw a bit of people guts in there too; with the slowness and lumbering stupidity of the cows I can guarantee that death on the roads is going to drastically increase.

While it would be silly to take a drop in comfort from a car to a cow, the incentive comes from the lowered cost of the cow when compared to the car. Some jobs require a quicker commute (one more speedy than the cow is able to provide), but most jobs have a steady commute with long hours of off-duty time which means cow could be a useful way of travel for the decrease in cost. The issue is less with the feasibility of cows as transport, and with our own perception of what we need to stay comfortable. Costs associated with cars such as insurance and maintenence would also be widely reduced when owning a cow.


I don't think it would be as simple as just buying a cow and going out for a Sunday afternoon drive too be perfectly honest. Yep, I am pretty sure the government will have some sort of imposing system in place when it comes to cow transport. Cow tax anyone?

Also, there is intrinsic value to having a living, breathing cow as your transport mechanism as opposed to a car. Most cars cannot talk and engage their user in conversation, and while cows cannot do this very well either, the fact that they are living beings means that emotional connections can be developed more easily. Regardless of the objective rates at which a cow can travel, if the owner has the perception that they enjoy the cow more, then, for them, the shortcomings of cows as transport animals are easily shrugged off.


Emotional connections? Doesn't seem like a great idea for me when it comes to motorists. First off, valuing your form of transport with such an emotional connection I am pretty sure motorists are going to be more emotionally scarred when it comes to losing an animal. I have already stated above that cows will be run down on busy roads regularly if this system was used. Ah well, maybe the owner of the cow will be lucky and will get crushed to death as well...

[Shaun]

No. If I can't drive a car, I can get a goddamned bike. WTF would I ride a cow for? Horses are a better riding animal.

That is all.

[zero]

No I don't know why this is a problem .I mean if for nature, cows release methane, a green house gas not to mention they are slow and too small to hold a family .But do you know what, yes just for the sake of it. Let's see, cows are good providers for meat, milk and nutrition that way you can travel for days compensating the extra time ,second of all not a lot of methane is released,not as much as the car releases CO2 and other gases that is.

[midnight-ramble]

Ok points to voodoo for actually reading the brief.. the point of this isn't to choose the side that, let us admit, is clearly right, but to show your skills at linguistic engagement. Come up with points and counter-points, and use the full force of your wit!
Also try to pick opposite views for goodness-sake, it is no fun if it is one sided.
So come on people, try harder, I know you are all great writers!

[Jack]

Me and Alex had something going on, but then no one replied :P

/spam

[zero]

Cows can live 25 years. You can guess the age of a cow that has horns by counting the number of rings on the horns.So you know when you must change it but you can never know when a car's
engine breaks down.In addition to that, a cow has almost total 360 degree panoramic vision and is able to see colors, except red. They can detect odors up to 5 miles away. Cows can hear lower and higher frequencies better than humans thus it can warn you of any impending danger.
Not to forget a cow has Holstein spots which are like a fingerprint. No two cows have exactly the same pattern of spots therefore you can never lose it.Finally,Cows have cloven hooves. In galloping through boggy places or in deep mud, cattle can run faster than a horse. Their toes spread, and therefore their wide feet do not sink so deep as do those of the solid-hoofed horse,proving that in some situations a horse isn't the best option.

[midnight-ramble]

I fear the biggest danger of this ludicrous scheme, is the satanic nature of cattle! Not only do cows, as the previous poster pointed out, often have horns, but they also all, have cloven feet, now I don't know about you, but the first animal that springs to mind is that of a demon - or more specifically Beelzebub himself! If that isn't enough proof for you honorable ladies and gentlemen, then I suggest you examine the matter of cow's bowels - not only do they smell like Tartarus itself, but they are producing a good deal of gas in an attempt to warm the earth to the same temperature!
By having these evil animals as our steeds, we are encouraging the devil into our lives, and will slowly become twisted until we resemble Lucifer's last messenger - George Bush junior. Surely this is enough to dissuade you from this preposterous idea!
(also sorry draxzar, didn't mean to leave you out!(go zero go!))

[zero]

Deamons, are based on myths.( I am not stating they don't exist) .Yet, since there was no sight of such foul creatures ,I may clearly piont out that we do not know how they look like !
Thus we are not sure if they have horns or not ,if they have cloven feet or not .Even if they do ,they do not have the same body structure.Cows have been used for nutrition since long ago, if they were evil animals I think we might have died by now , or at least turned evil.

P.S. This is quite exhilirating.

[Rose]

As for me i support zero...I mean, he just said eveything i could have thought of saying about this issue...and I really don't think that cows have any thing to do with demons what ever that is...Who related them to each other anyway?Just because cows have horns and cloven feet doesn't mean they're demons.Well thats all I have for now...Movin' on...