Active voice, passive voice / "Show, don't tell"

[jcsk88]

I'm sure these issues have been discussed somewhere on this site before, but I couldn't hunt down the link, so I'll just ask it here outright. What is the essential difference between the two? How do you write in an active voice so that the story comes across as more spontaneous and less like a description of events? What does it really mean to show and not tell? Thanks in advance for any clarifications!

[miss_smiley]

Ok. Technically speaking, "active voice" is where the noun of the sentence comes first, followed by the verb.
ie: "She slammed on the brakes."
Passive voice is, obviously, the opposite.
ie: "The brakes were slammed on by her."

Passive voice tends to be used a lot more in scientific reports and such ("three drops of twenty-four molar phosphoric acid was added to the patient's skin..." *evil chuckle*).

The kind of active I usually mean when I throw it into critiques (because I'm thinking that I'm the main perpetrator of this term... Whoops!), is where you use much more action-packed words to describe things. "Slammed" instead of "pushed" - words that describe how the action was completed, rather than just giving us a sequence. (I guess a better term for it would be "using the right connotations", except "active voice" suits it so much better... Hmmm...)

And, for me, "show, don't tell" is using those words in conjunction with sensations, and using the reader's adrenaline against them. Like picking particular words for particular effects. "Wept" or "sobbed" are really good for a tragedy - mainly because they conveys (at least to me. It's highly likely that it's different for others) a sadness so engulfing that you can't escape it. "Thumped" is great for a fist-fight - mainly because it SOUNDS like someone smacking into someone else. Words are more than just little dots and dashes on a page - they have their own little nit-picky definitions in our psyches, and this is what you should be playing on for a really involved piece.

In my opinion.
Anyone agree, or am I just by myself on this lonely little planet that I call "My Opinion"? :P

[jcsk88]

Thanks for the guidelines, smiley! This was really helpful. I've seen the terms used in critiques before, but I never really fully understood what they meant. :)

[miss_smiley]

^^ Well, I'm always glad to help you, Jerry. It allows me to think that sometimes, I'm actually of use to you and your mega-brain. :P

[jcsk88]

You flatter me smiley. Truth be told, I don't have a clue about the technical rules of the language. I just fumble my way through and somehow churn out something coherent. I believe the problems with my writing lie with my style, and that's going to take a while to change. Old habits die hard, you see...

[miss_smiley]

*nods* Ahh, yes, grasshopper... :P
(That's ok. I was brought up in a family of English teachers... scary, scary thing. I wouldn't wish it on anyone...)

[thecollector]

Alright, I might not be of much help to you here, seeing as I've only written in active voice for my English class. What I've always thought it was, and I'm not sure if Smiley covered it, was just attempting to paint a mental picture. What you might want to do if you are using active voice in your writing pieces is to be very exact with descriptive language while using active voice at the same time. I'm not sure if that makes much sense, but I mean anyone can say (This is an example.) "The car runs the red light." A good writer who uses active voice and just the right amount of descriptive language makes it, "The car barrels through the intersection, almost clipping a speeding Mack truck as it rockets past the red light." I'm not sure if that answers your question. Please let me know if it doesn't.

[Ninjatrone]

Ok. Technically speaking, "active voice" is where the noun of the sentence comes first, followed by the verb.
ie: "She slammed on the brakes."
Passive voice is, obviously, the opposite.
ie: "The brakes were slammed on by her.
Alright, now I'm confused. Isn't "Slammed" past-tense?
But I suppose you wouldn't say "She slams on the brakes." That just makes it sound like a screen play.

[Bowie20049]

Alright, now I'm confused. Isn't "Slammed" past-tense?
But I suppose you wouldn't say "She slams on the brakes." That just makes it sound like a screen play.

Tenses have nearly nothing to do with voice.

[miss_smiley]

Tenses have nearly nothing to do with voice.

What he said.
It's in how you phrase your sentence. Is there anything else that doesn't make sense there?