One-Liner

[Crocolyle]

Just post the worst one-liner you know.

Ex)

I went camping last weekend - and it was intense

[Tncowgirl]

Whoa, that one is.....odd.


Are you an angel, cause I just died and went to heaven.

[Andy]

Do you have a map? Because I've gotten lost in your eyes. XD

[GeorgeMichael]

I've lost my number, can I have yours? :)

[Crocolyle]

Race is just a pigment of the imagination

[Nyx]

If I could rewrite the alpahbet, I'd put u and i together.

[Andy]

I wish I could find the square root of (-u^2), so that u and i can be together.

(Square root of u squared is "u", square root of -1 is the imaginary number "i")

[Nyx]

wow Andy that's a complex one-liner!

[GeorgeMichael]

lol, say that to a girl and she might think you're really smart. :)

[Nyx]

Hmm..I think she might think you're a bit too smart!

[Crocolyle]

No, we did not beat him to death. We beat him half to death. Twice.

[Rafael Domination]

'Is it hot in here, or is it just you?'

I love that one! :D

[Me_Lia]

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.




All of you are so creative. I love this site.

[Nyx]

'Is it hot in here, or is it just you?'

I love that one! :D

Haha that one is classic

[Me_Lia]

No, we did not beat him to death. We beat him half to death. Twice.

I overlooked this last time. :D:D:D


Are you Jamaican cuz Jamaican me crazy. (Ahhh, the stupidity of pick up lines...)

[GeorgeMichael]

anyone have anymore? I'll give one of my favorite one liners ever told on a TV show, it might not seem as funny in writing because it was probably all the delivery by the actress.

"Start bidding at 5000, if there are any more offers back off gracefully, shout out 'I get her 364 days a year for free' or something."
"You're not gonna hear that phrase mom."

[Rafael Domination]

I see dead people...

(not really a pick-up line, but that's a one liner I never forgot! :D)

[GeorgeMichael]

"May the force be with you" Ah! come up with a more famous quote then that :) Only one per post!

[Rafael Domination]

"To be, or not to be...that is the question" :rolleyes:

That one had been around centuries before Star Wars...

[Nyx]

Here's one I hadn't heard that my friend told me last night:

"Can I borrow your library card? Cause I need to check you out!"

[Alex]

Ohhhh I like this thread =] lol

Girl, do your feet hurt? Because you've been running through my mind like crazy.

[Rafael Domination]

Oh my goosebumps! :D You people are good.

Try...Heaven must be missing an angel, cuz' you're here...

[Crocolyle]

Are you wearing space pants? 'Cause your ass is out of this world!

[Nyx]

Are you wearing space pants? 'Cause your ass is out of this world!

Oooh I love that one, it's so cliche:P

[Zaphkiel]

Here's one that I've heard...

"Do you have mirrors in your pants, cuz I see me in them!"

[Nyx]

Here's one that I've heard...

"Do you have mirrors in your pants, cuz I see me in them!"

Ehehe, I've never heard that one before.

Here's a lame on:
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

[Zaphkiel]

"Wow baby, is there an airport nearby or is my heart just taking off."

[Nyx]

Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

[Rafael Domination]

"I got a boo-boo on my lips! Kiss it better!"

Ew! :D

[Nyx]

Is that the sun coming up... or is that just you lighting up my world?

[Rafael Domination]

(Hah! :D That one was a little more heartwarming!)

[Zaphkiel]

How about this one...

If they added you to a newspaper, you'd be in the FINE print.

[Nyx]

(Aw, that one was orginal:P)

[Zaphkiel]

//Thanks!^_^//

[Nyx]

//no prob:P//

Here's a cheesy one:

."You look familiar, come one how do I know you?? ahhh that's right - you were in my dreams"

[Snappy Penguine]

"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk around again?"

[random_writer]

I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

Haha! Not really...

[Snappy Penguine]

"You smell like Frito's, that's why I'm giving you the hungry stare"

[Alex]

I'll go through the pirate ones I know ((although this thread WAS about One Liners, not Pick-Up Lines... jesus guys))

1) I want to drop anchor in your lagoon.
2) Can I blow me cannon through your porthole?
3) Please scrub the barnacles off me bow, yarghh...

I can't think of the others, sorry

[Snappy Penguine]

Those were all very disturbing :mellow:

One liner: "Why so serious?"

[sXe_Jinxeh]

"That dress would look good on my floor,"

[seikoXchan]

100,000 sperm in your mother and you were the fastest?

^ Not exactly a one-liner, but something to counter-act one, I guess.
EDIT : My friend Mike insisted I say this. :glare:

[electrilad]

So, do you like giraffes?

I'd totally say that to someone too.

[GeorgeMichael]

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No. Wait. Not me, you.

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

on the other hand, you have different fingers.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.



I know they're not exactly one liners but I do love Jack Handey quotes :D

[aj.e]

I'm evil, but I'm not that evil. :ninja:

For Animorph Fans: If you were a Yeerk, I'd let you in my head anyday. :cool:

[sXe_Jinxeh]

I wish I could find the square root of (-u^2), so that u and i can be together.

(Square root of u squared is "u", square root of -1 is the imaginary number "i")


Ha, I'm using this tomorrow.

[imagination_123]

How about...
Can you hear a really fast drumming? ... or is that just my heart?
one of the worst ones i've ever heard. HA HA. makes me laugh though.