The Character: Alone

[Crocolyle]

With my experience as a playwright and screenwriter, my strong points when I write fiction (instead of drama) tend to be character interaction and dialogue--at least I like to think that, I don't know how true that really is. Naturally, if this truly is the case, one could easily assume that my greatest weakness is writing about the character alone.

When the character is alone, I end up losing the ability to “chew the carpet” and all action stops only to be replaced by a whiney third-person soliloquy:


He began to turn towards the stairs but hesitated. Having betrayed his friend, Gan knew Shur could not forgive him. Besides, Gan had come here to do something, to undo a great wrong. But, he was no longer sure if he was doing the right thing. He closed his eyes and thought. Why was he doing this? He held his hands to his head, and felt the warm blood from the fresh wound drip down his face, mixing with the sweat. Sighing, Gan slumped to the ground. Though he was usually timid and hesitant, he had never felt this uncertain. He thought he heard footsteps sound down the corridor, but assumed it was his nervousness, or his rapidly beating heart. He took a deep breath and tried to clear his head.


That rambling rant isn’t even the worst example I have from my current project. Nearly half of the 4,000 words of the third chapter, which isn’t even near completion, is this whiney, rambling mess of thought and action. This weak style of prose is prevalent in most of my recent projects where the main character is alone for an extended period of time. In fact, for most of the rough draft of a completed novella, the character is alone and these insubstantial soliloquies dominate the first dozen or so scenes. It just feels like something should happen—and nothing random—when the character is alone in one of these transitional scenes otherwise the pace will be too far accelerated. Yet you really can only say, “He continued down the passage” once, maybe twice, without being redundant or Gertrude Stein.

I’d like to know does anyone else experience this problem? I’m pretty sure Orson Scott Card might experiences this to some extent evidenced by the slow pace of scenes in Ender’s Shadow where Bean is traveling through a network of vents in the battle school that are absolutely tedious to read, when most of the book is exciting and largely dialogue driven. And does anyone—whether or not they actually experience this—know any cures or tips to combat what I like to call the Bored and Lonely Character Syndrome, or B.L.C.S. because all terms need good (or in this case lousy) acronyms….

So swap some stories, offer explanations, create cures.

[Alex]

What I tend to do, instead of focusing on a character's emotions in times like these I will just butcher the hell out of the description. I will describe every last thing he/she notices, even if it does seem to become pedantic, subconciously trying to avoid a situation like this. This is less of a problem for me just because I've never written anything worthwhile in 1st person, play, or screenwrighting so I tend to shy away from dialogue on my own.

If I had to take one thing from that paragraph, however, it would be the lack of outside description. Why not describe a little branch thats snapped on a tree or something of the nature. It just seems like, if this is how most of your paragraphs alone are, then you are focusing too much on something and less on another. A balance needs to be found to keep it from being pedantic, and thats quite possibly the greatest weekness of 3rd person POV.

A few paragraphs like this are good for a story, especially one in third person, because it is usually more difficult ((or at least I find it so)) to describe a character's emotional state of being precisely because of the limits you have as an author with the ability to describe only through the narrator. This is a talent to be able to do this, but if you don't mix it up with other forms of description then it will get pedantic, the same way I get pedantic with too much physical description, you are doing the same with emotional description.

I really couldn't tell you for sure, however, because I haven't read extended pieces of works, but from what I see here and how you describe it I think you need to remove yourself a little bit from the dialogue driven style of playwrights and most 1st person story writes. Its a different ballgame, and while its admirable to try and push the envelope, you need to make sure that metaphorical envelope doesn't break.

You're one of the more talented members here on this site, so use your better judgement when it comes around. Its obvious you know when the problem arises, so to take a break from the monotony its as simple as describing a spontaneous thought, or a background noise, or something of the like. Also, he thought a footsteps sound? thats akward lol, also he thought he heard a footstep's sound is a little more correct. =p

[Starry]

...Wait a minute, a lot of my writing is like that. xP I don't see much of a problem with what you wrote there, as long as it's done in moderation. Which I suppose is your problem. Alright, off the top of my head (so these probably won't all make sense), ways to improve:

1. Not only have more descriptions of the surroundings, but have your character react to the surroundings. Does the hallway cause a lot of echoes? Is the character disturbed by this? Does the hallway remind him of a school hallway, and what memories does that bring up?
2. That one leads to: flashbacks. Not the best option, and get annoying after a while, but if done well they can really break up a monotonous scene by adding in something more interesting that happened at another time.
3. Drop all action for a bit and concentrate purely on the character's thoughts and emotions. Once again, must be used in moderation or else you entirely lose track of the action, but you can get much deeper into the character's psyche if you forget about what's going on around them, as they likely have.
4. I have a few characters who talk to themselves. That may not work for you, but in addition to being really fun, it helps keep the narration moving, so you don't get stuck in a little vortex of repetitive emotions.
5. Why not have something happen to the character? Or why can't they act on whatever impulses they have, especially since no one is around to hold them back? I'm sure that most of the time, when your characters are alone, they don't want to sit around and whine to themselves about what has happened to them. Let them plot and scheme for later scenes, or just do whatever pops into their heads.

Wow. I'm going to sit back now and see what everyone else says, because I have this problem too and I'm not sure if I helped at all. I think the main thing you want to keep in mind is variety. Do something different each time you end up in this situation, and see where it leads you. :]