Attention Critiquers!

[Andy]

I'm looking for two good critiques on the site, written by you. I would like to use them to show new members what a decent critique looks like. That means they'll be seen by a lot of people! That's also why I'd like to have your permission to use them. :)

The first should be three or so paragraphs long, without quotes or colored inline comments. I want to use it as an example of a general, quote-less critique. HOWEVER: I'd prefer one that offered general suggestions about a piece (grammar, POV, characterization) which could be easily understood by someone who's never read the piece.

The second should be one completely consisting of a quoted piece with inline comments inside. I want it to show them how inline comments are done. HOWEVER: I'd prefer one that's not too long - preferably no higher than the height of your screen.

If you can offer links to any number of either of the above, fitting the specific criteria, made by you, please do it.


As for rewards: You get Thanked by me, and the two winners get 5 points once the critique system is set up. Considering submissions will cost between 4-10 points each, that's a lot.

[Carraka]

I guess that completely disqualifies all of my crits, since I mix those two styles. And also -- all my crits are far too long.

xP

But I'll see if I can recommend crits with my story in them. Then it'll be like subliminal advertising.

EDIT: Meh, it turned out very badly. Basically, I went through my thread and found all the critiques that looked like they fit your requirements.

The only quote-less one (http://www.youngwritersonline.net/showpost.php?p=19556&postcount=61) would not be easy to understand. But it's very flattering. If I were really desperate, I would go do a quote-less critique right now, but I don't want points as much as I want to procrastinate from critiquing this other story -- on TW. I totally did quote-less crits on TW ...

Some (http://www.youngwritersonline.net/showpost.php?p=31821&postcount=70) short (http://www.youngwritersonline.net/showpost.php?p=31922&postcount=74) inlines? (http://www.youngwritersonline.net/showpost.php?p=31942&postcount=76)

EDIT: Ahahaaaa -- I have no life.

I found a quote-less crit (http://www.youngwritersonline.net/showpost.php?p=28501&postcount=6) by me (might be too long, though).

[jordanisonfire]

Well, I'd need a piece full of errors. I'm not very good at picking out the hidden bad stuff. :rolleyes:

[Andy]

I guess that completely disqualifies all of my crits, since I mix those two styles. And also -- all my crits are far too long.
Perhaps we can use them as examples of really awesome crits. Otherwise they might scare newbs into thinking there's no way they could pull off something like that. :D

[Carraka]

xP

Oh, right.

So if you get picked for Andy's examples, you know you're not as awesome as me. xD

Or you're more concise.

...

[Alex]

Well I don't think my crits are anything special, but they are nitpicky. I'm not sure if

A) they would fit the bill

or

B) are good enough to use

but they are littered around the poetry sections and I might have some old stuff in the realistic fiction section.

[Shaun]

The great thing about being an Admin is I don't need to do this to get free points :P. I have godly powers :P (which I'm not supposed to use for selfish reasons, I know... :glare:)

[GeorgeMichael]

And I...... wait... I've never tried to mess with points before... I'm not sure if Modly powers matches Godly powers in that area... hmm...